Namaste ~
Some things are really hard to put into words, but I'm going to try.
Like most of the world, I was afraid to travel during these strange times. Feeling unsure and unsafe, I wavered and hesitated about leaving up until the week before departure. My brain felt weird entrusting my travel experience to people I had never met in person. Truly I was "surrendering fully" because I was literally flying half way across the planet. Call me crazy, I know. Something inside of me obviously needed a shake-up. Little did I know that the feelings I had prior to leaving were foreshadowing what was to come:
A shit storm mixed with a few redeeming moments.
For most of the experience, our organizers argued with each other. Plans were constantly changing last minute. Many of us (there were 10 attendees) were deeply uncomfortable with the way in which one of the leaders led the practices. As you can imagine, all the participants were stressed by the inability of our guides to lead us with integrity and be accountable to the picture they painted that got us to Greece and Crete with them in the first place. We all unearthed our own wounded child part in the 'family dynamics' of the group because that is what happens when we are under dysfunctional systems. Ultimately, we took matters into our own hands...
We survived by genuinely holding sacred space for each other.
Out of necessity to get through the negativity of the situation, we had to step up and each do our part to take care of ourselves and find some peace in the chaos. Otherwise, all the invested finances and time to attend this trip felt wasted - and who wanted to feel that? At one time or another, I bet each person had faced the question: Do I leave or stay? I'll be honest - I was contemplating a full exodus. Yet, I was in deep with the group and the investment in making new friends. Being an optimist, I had a sibilance of hope for the days to come. As you can tell, I possess a certain loyalty to seeing things through to the end. So, how did I cope when it felt like things were falling apart?
Two things: Inner Resolve and Self Advocacy.
Immature leaders and those focused on their own Ego Identity (cult of personality), will utilize Power Play Dynamics to control, manipulate, and cajole a person or group - often by using (consciously or unconsciously) upending tactics to weaken our resolve and make us dependent on them. So we must be courageous and tenacious enough to see this, turn toward our own sovereignty, and without indecision, act on our own behalf. Regardless of the risks. Trust your inner compass, have faith in what is truly nourishing, and do what you need to do -- even if it makes someone angry or unhappy.
In any case, an enlightened leader will empower the individuals within a group and encourage freedom. Anyone who cares about democracy wants it to be anchored in personal responsibility, healthy interaction, collaboration, and empathy for the wide range of human experience.
Most of all, after all of the lessons in the past month, I have learned we need less BIG leaders and more PERSONAL leading. Each of us must own our life creation and do our part to carry ourselves, our communities, and our world in a way that supports, nurtures, and sustains us ALL.
