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Every time we sat down to write in 2020, we faced an emotion best described as ‘confusion’. What we felt confident in saying one day, unravelled the next. ‘Overtaken by events’ became the status quo. The only static was uncertainty. And when that’s how life is playing out, anxiety can skyrocket.
Some of us were given a lesson long before 2020 that this is just how life is: wild and unpredictable. Events happen that confirm just how little control over our lives we really have. A year ago, before the worst of the summer bushfires had even hit, we began our Christmas letter with this:
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| "What a strange and difficult situation we find ourselves in this Christmas in Australia.
As many of us wrap last-minute gifts we’re watching apocalyptic scenes unfold. Lives are lost, homes destroyed and fears confirmed: this will be a terrifying summer."
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Within a few weeks of writing that, a staggering percentage of the country had burnt. Many homes and businesses were destroyed. Many of the people who lost everything last summer are still without homes, a year on.
On the personal front, by January, we (like many others) were dealing with the roof of one of our houses being destroyed in a freak hail storm. Cars were written off. And then of course we had the arrival of COVID-19, which instantly shut down all of our planned face-to-face workshops and events. We don’t need to elaborate on all the ways in which 2020 threw its weight around. It just did. It still is. For us all.
So what are we to do with such a wild and precious life? It sounded so much more romantic in Mary Oliver’s poetry. She said nothing of being on hold to an insurance company for hours on end. Nothing about toilet paper shortages. Nothing about work being lost or people getting sick, or Christmas plans being in such disarray around the world.
The wildness is here to stay for the foreseeable future
2021 is unlikely to be the magical solution we are hoping for. Searching for control of things beyond ourselves will be as fruitless as trying to hold back the ocean.
But control has never been the thing we should have been grasping for. It’s flexibility. Adaptability. It’s having belief in ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens (even if we don’t know how yet). The secret is making peace with the permanent chaos beyond our influence, even if we don’t like it — because we really have no alternative option.
The other key is perspective. Comparisons are fruitless, but sometimes it does help to stand back and appreciate all that has gone right for us this year. Australians are in an enviable position this Christmas, and we’re very grateful for it.
Something else we said last year was this:
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| "Our message to you this Christmas is to be kind to yourself. You can’t throw it all together in 15 minutes, but you can relax the expectation that this has to be an Instagram-worthy celebration where everyone’s perfectly happy. It doesn’t.
And if the full story involves stolen moments shedding a few tears, or putting on a brave face, or silently wondering if this isn’t meant to be a little more fun, know you’re not alone. This time of year can be hard, for myriad really valid reasons.
Anyone who has known true loss will also know how important it is to grasp those glimpses of joy. If things are bad, and something beautiful presents itself, grab hold of that. It’s precious. Wring as much sparkle from it as you possibly can."
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| Wishing you peace and hope this Christmas.
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