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| | One of us, who shall be named Audrey Thomas, just turned a significant age, which is fifty, and the other isn’t too far behind. We’ve been having some midlife ponderings and would love to know if they resonate with you, too …
We’ve written a LOT over the last few years about the struggle to ‘have it all’, to juggle work with family, to eke out some quality ‘me time’ or even just five minutes’ peace in our over-scheduled lives.
Talking about people being busy and overwhelmed has been our central message since the afternoon in 2013 when we were on the phone to each other in Adelaide and Canberra, dreaming up ways to help women manage their hectic lives.
We wrote a book about untangling yourself from this notion of not having enough time, and we went on TV and radio and appeared on international news sites and in magazines, introduced as ‘productivity pros’ …
Imagine for a moment that you’ve followed our advice and created that extra time, only to find yourself staring at an appointments diary now that seems to have lashings of white space (in some cases) and pockets of it (in others) while you try to ignore an increasingly burning question: ‘What am I going to do with the time I’ve found?’
‘Find your passion!’ articles boom at you.
‘Follow your bliss!’
‘You do you.’
‘Be authentic.’
But what if you can’t articulate what your ‘passion' is? What if you feel disconnected from the person deep inside who has spent years in the trenches, serving others? What if the idea is terrifying, that the person buried inside you is now being called upon to take the wheel and drive you somewhere you can’t see, with a GPS that doesn’t appear to be functioning?
‘Then be spontaneous!’ They cry.
‘Go anywhere! Do anything. Be anyone!’
Is it mainly twenty-something influencers on that bandwagon? Or is the advice good for middle-aged women who are realistically still building families and super?
You can’t shut it out, though, this idea that you’re approaching some sort of crossroads. Something does need to change. It feels like it’s already shifting…
Perhaps you’re scared you’ve climbed the wrong ladder. Near the top now, you can see there were other ladders all along. Maybe you scooted up the first one people told you to, or the one you were best at climbing, or the one that felt easiest or most convenient. Perhaps you moved up any ladder at all, so long as you were heading somewhere.
And now you’re really not sure. This feels precarious. You’ve built an entire world around this particular ladder, and climbing down and starting again feels irresponsible. Impossible, even.
Is this a mid-life crisis?
Some people quit their jobs and start anew. Some sell their homes and travel the world or have a ‘sea change’. But some enter into what we’re lovingly referring to as a ‘midlife renaissance’, right where they are.
It’s about starting where you are and exploring new things, making new friends, going to classes or talks or doing tutorials or joining a team or a band or a book club. It’s about reading and watching things you haven’t read or watched before — or things you’d consumed long ago, loved and forgotten. It’s about caring less what people think and doing what lights you up. Studying, training, dabbling … in anything that ignites a spark.
Fan that spark, and the kindling catches fire. From the kindling, you get flashes of light. Build it and tend it carefully and the fire will catch on until it roars, and you will glow in its warmth. You won’t be able to help it.
‘Renaissance’ is one word for it. ‘Reinvention’ is another. What if that tingly feeling that you thought was fear was really excitement all along?
If any of this has resonated with you, perhaps you’d like to book one of our complimentary 30-minute Clarity Calls. We help women bring things into sharper focus, and we’d love to talk you through an issue you’re pondering. Book a convenient time here.
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| All the best
Audrey & Emma x
Ps. We only have a limited number of places available for our free Clarity Calls, so if you're keen to book a chat with one of us, head over here.
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