It took abandoning my instrument for nearly 6 years (after I fought so hard to play it in the first place) to finally overcome the imposter syndrome that had set deep within me. What helped me get out of that mindset ironically was burnout.
Those 6 years without violin were filled with an unfulfilling job that worked me to the bone. A dream job to everyone else’s eyes: working from home, well paid, flexible for a mom... Perhaps just an escape… a way of avoiding what I truly wanted, my music career. I was likely avoiding it because I had no idea as to where to start. I was out of shape, out of the scene, and I thought I was out of options. I was heartbroken and completely exhausted.
But dealing with burnout is no joke. When you hit rock bottom and there’s absolutely nothing else you can lose… when even your health is gone... there is no other option but to look within.
That burnout was a blessing in disguise because it forced me to focus on myself. I had no choice but to start by recovering my health slowly. I was so overweight that I couldn’t handle a 10 minute walk or focus long enough to finish one simple task. I stopped driving because I didn’t trust that I could pay attention long enough to drive safely. All I wanted to do was nothing… I couldn’t take care of myself nor my family, and much less think of retaking the violin. But I had to start somewhere. So I decided to do tiny 4 minute HIIT workouts to get in shape.
I allowed myself to be ok with doing just that. And this little mindset twist completely changed my life. It took some time, but I lost 12 kilos just doing that. Being someone that has never worked out constantly I was shocked! I was back to my ideal weight, my energy and ability to focus came back. Then I thought, “why couldn’t I do the same with the violin?”
Why couldn’t I start with my own tiny “violin HIIT style” practices? Something that was not overwhelming. Why not create a program for myself that could help me play again? I had the knowledge… and I had beaten the odds before!
So I did. What a life changing decision! I found myself once again! If violins have a soul, I think mine was just as happy to be dusted off and no longer ignored in the depths of my closet.
Thinking back… what sadness I had seeing in that poor instrument in a corner not being used. It so clearly reflected my own... I’m so glad that this hundred and something year old violin has been seeing the light of day again. This made me wonder and think of all of the other sad violins sitting in closets or in a corner being ignored and not played. It made me wonder, how many other busy women are living what I went through?
What if I could share my story, help and inspire other women who have a forgotten instrument and a nostalgic yearning to “play again one day?” When?
I decided to take a chance, and put myself out there. I invited my immediate social circle to what I called the Violin Bootcamp - based on the same “HIIT” ideas of short practices. People in my own personal Facebook network actually took me up on it! Women I didn’t know or forgot played violin wanted in! I was so encouraged. The Bootcamp was a total success… which brings me to today – a constantly growing group of women who find joy and fulfilment.
Are you still with me? ☺ What if I told you that you can get back that joy, be part of an amazing community of women who, yes, are indeed busy, but have had amazing results with my program? What would it mean to you to unearth both your violin, and your spark for playing?
How much longer would you put this off? Another month? Another year? Another decade? You don’t need to quit your job and wait for a burnout to find joy. You deserve it! If violin is at all part of you and who you are, but lost it along the way – this is your chance to reclaim that part of you with me, and a group of amazing women who are living similar realities.
If you've had enough, join us.
Never. Stop. Playing!
Marlene
