Friend,
For the past two years I have spoken with close to a hundred women about the blocks and fears that prevent them to move forward in their own musicianship and violin performance.
One of the biggest mindset blocks I constantly find with my clients is the concept of “Perfectionism”.
No matter how much experience, creative talent or technical ability the person has… ultimately, when I ask the question “What has stopped you from getting results in the past?” the answer more often than not is “Well… I’m a perfectionist… so…”
I understand this issue quite well. In fact I consider myself a “self reformed perfectionist” 😉
During my own journey and internal work to overcome impostor syndrome I came across one quote that I like to give to my clients whenever they say “I’m a perfectionist”
“Perfectionism is Procrastination in Disguise”
Let that sink in for a moment…
I cannot recall where or how I found this quote, nor who the original author is… It is unfortunate… because it has changed my life.
Every time I tell this to my clients on a session, I can see through the expression in their eyes how something lites up within.
Many of them rush to write this down so they can digest what its teaching them further… It has the potential to change everything yo do. It certainly did for me and it continues to influence my clients lives as well.
When you are ready to really take a look at what is stopping you from making progress on anything in life, (in this case violin) for some of us in the classical music world this quote makes a lot of sense.
And I believe it is because it is spot on in exposing one of the main issues we face as “classically trained musicians”.
It has been deeply engrained in the music teaching culture over generations to overly correct mistakes. We learn to make emphasis on what we do wrong when we play not what we do right.
When it comes to playing violin, perfectionism can play a very negative role. And for some people, it can certainly be procrastination in disguise. I see it all the time.
But the great news is that once you realize this is something that you are doing, you can work on how to solve it. And there is plenty you can do to move pass it and to take advantage of that natural drive we have to do things well but in a healthy way.
There is a big difference between wanting to do things with “excellence” to the best of our abilities. Learning from our mistakes, growing without judging and crushing ourselves… and “being a perfectionist” holding ourselves to an impossible standard that only allows us to see the things we did wrong in our process, completely blinding us to the reality in that moment.
And when that happens, is when perfectionism becomes procrastination in disguise. Because then you can only see what you did wrong. And that causes pain. And pain prevents you from taking action.
That’s when things go south. That’s when you see incredibly talented people completely doubting themselves. Abandoning their dreams, or never finishing their degree… avoiding their passion, it brakes my heart because I have been there. And it is all only about perception. How you perceive yourself and what you do about it.
That is the only difference. And for me, to see my clients going from being unable to play one thing without saying a million negative things about it, to being completely comfortable recording and sharing (mistakes or not) fun songs in our community is so satisfying.
So today I want to invite you to embrace your playing just as it is. In all its “beautiful imperfection”.
“Beautiful imperfection is about seeing flaws as an undeniable expression of what it means to be a human being. It is about regarding our own imperfections not as a weakness but as a unique gift that has the power to inspire others. Is it about gently letting go of the tyranny of perfection, certainty and control and embracing a way of being that is compassionately and beautifully imperfect.” - Steve Chapman
If you don’t know where to start or need a little motivation join me for the next few weeks on my free “Imperfect Series Challenge”. Recover the simplicity and joy that playing for fun can bring!
For the next few weeks I’ve set myself for a fun practice challenge. If you want to follow my journey follow me on Facebook or Instagram to listen ;)
The point of this is enjoying practicing and playing again for fun. Letting go off the perfectionism trap. This is what I’m planning to do:
1. I will choose a piece of music I feel like exploring, wether it is an old repertoire piece or something new I want to sight read. No need for complications. Simple melodies are fun too!
2. I will record myself and post on our Facebook Group or social media the recording of my honest best take without worrying of its beautiful imperfections. No worries, no edits, just my raw recording of the best take in that moment.
3. The most important step: I will practice not judging my playing but rather embracing everything it has to offer for me in that moment. Anything I want to do better can be done next time I play.
Why don’t you join me and have some fun? This is a formal invitation to join our Resilient Violinist Facebook group and start your own "Imperfect Challenge" with me!
The Resilient Violinist is a group where busy women can reconnect with violin, meet other likeminded women, ask me any questions about violin practice, get access to free and paid programs and Q&A’s about violin playing. Currently you can join the group by invitation only.
What do you have to do to participate in the challenge?
Join our Facebook Group “Resilient Violinists”
Answer the membership approval questions by entering the e-mail address you received this invitation to get approved.
Introduce yourself on a post!
Record yourself playing anything. Short, long, simple… beautifully imperfect!
Post your recording on the group and use the tags #beautifulimperfection, #imperfectseries so we can easily see all submissions and enjoy everyone’s participation and progress.
You can tag me if you actively want feedback or advice in your playing without any judgment :) @marlenecruzlozano
There is no limit as to how many times you can post, but the only rule is you have to post at least once a week for the next 4 weeks. Wouldn’t be a challenge without a bit of accountability would it? ;)
Note: If you are not on Facebook and still want to join, follow me on IG @marlenecruzlozano and tag me @marlenecruzlozano, #beautifulimperfection, #imperfectseries. The only difference is you won’t be able to see the conversation and advice in our community :)
Looking forward to seeing you there! Let’s do this
Never. Stop. Playing!
Marlene
