| Can You Color In Between The Lines? |
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| Since a lot of my closest friends are clinicians and I typically interact with other therapists, psychologists and/or medical professionals throughout the course of the day it is not far fetched to say that we have heard or shared some of the same experiences throughout our careers. This month I’m discussing the boundaries and day-to-day dilemmas that clinicians might face or are currently facing on a regular basis. Clinician or not, we all have to make decisions regarding what we will allow to take place in our lives. Naturally, there will be things in our lives that we cannot control; however, with a little forethought and self-awareness, we can maneuver through life much easier.
Some of the moments described in this blog may lead you to nod your head in agreement, while others could potentially foster frustration, but whatever response this blog evokes, it is important to understand the boundaries and limits we must place on ourselves and others while serving individuals. It’s time for us to set boundaries and ‘color in between the lines’ (operating within the areas that we create for ourselves).
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| A Day in the Life of a Clinician |
| | Beyond the Lines: A Clinician's Story |
| It’s Sunday night and I look over my calendar to mentally prepare for my schedule for tomorrow. I sigh because I have 7 clients booked for the day, starting at 8am. I reach over and look at the clock, wondering where the time has gone; It is already 10:30pm and I know I should be in bed, but I have missed my favorite TV show the last 2 weekends and I refuse to miss it again so I decide to stay up until 12:30am. As I settle in excited to catch up on my show I start to think about last weekend…
Last weekend I spent the entire 2 ½ days off with my family and never got around to writing my notes that were due Monday morning. That Monday as I rolled over to finally turn off the alarm clock off I realized it had been going off for almost an hour and found myself up and in a frenzy running late. I really wanted to get up earlier so that I could write my notes, workout, and prepare my lunch (knowing that the likelihood of me having enough time to run out for lunch was very slim).
I got myself together, headed out of the house, hopped on the highway and came to a standstill. Of all of the mornings for traffic to be a mess, that was definitely one of the worst ones. After inching my way down the highway I finally exited to find myself at an intersection whose stoplight refused to turn green. My frustration was building by the second, my palms were sweating profusely, and I started telling myself, “You cannot be late! You cannot be late!”)
- Sidebar: It doesn’t matter if I’m working in the private sector, for a community-based program, or corporate America; I, like most people, become unnerved while sitting in a pile of traffic, stopped behind a bus, or forced to move a snail’s pace with the potential of being late looming in the distance.
Finally! That traffic was moving and I made it to the office just before 8am. I went to look for the paperwork and remembered I did not have any more copies left last Friday. I also forgot to verify the client’s benefits beforehand. The rushing and ‘near miss’ of being late that morning was a short-lived victory as there I was rushing around again trying to get things together so I wouldn’t look unorganized and disheveled in front of my client. I ignored the clock and pressed on trying to get everything together. I plopped into my seat, closed my eyes and a tiny exhale escaped. I did it! I had everything together before my client arrived. I looked at my clock and realized that it was after 8am and my client was not there. 8:15am arrived; I was both irritated and relieved at the same time (relieved because the craziness that was my morning had ended, but irritated because the client was a no show.)
As I was preparing to mark that client as a ‘no show’ and get things out for my 9am client, the client showed up in a panic, hysterically crying, and begging to be seen. I was left with a conundrum; see the client and deal with the potential of making my entire day as stressful as my morning had been, or saying ‘No, let’s reschedule’ and claim back my day. I empathized with my client because she was crying and because my morning had been a wreck as well, and so I kept the appointment. As we were preparing to start the session I realized, in my hurry, I never finished verifying her benefits. In the heart of the session, my client disclosed that she made a suicide attempt and thus, I was obligated to complete a report to ensure her stability and safety. That type of report is serious and must be completed carefully. That report was finished at 9:15am.
When I realized the time I excused myself, peeked out, and apologized to my brand new client about my tardiness. That was definitely not the first impression that I wanted to make, especially given the fact that the new client came to me because he had problems with his previous therapist. It was to no avail as the client decided not to wait because not only was I not available at the scheduled time, I didn’t acknowledge him until a quarter past the hour. I lost a client. I was forced to hold my head up and go back to my previous client and complete the session.
The rest of that day I ended up playing catch-up because of the lack of boundaries that I set for myself. I found myself sitting in sessions with clients thinking about my to-do list and trying to will my stomach not to growl. It was clear to me that I was unfocused and totally off track, and so was my body; I frequented the restroom more than normal that day. I also found myself snapping at fellow therapists in the office, getting frustrated at things that I’d normally brush off, ignoring text messages from family, and feeling overwhelmed by seemingly carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
As that extremely long day was coming to a close, the amount of work that was to be completed was still a mountain staring at my weary body. I was exhausted. Heading home was not an option because notes still had to be completed and billing had to be processed. I was running on fumes and my note compilation was done in record time. But that was no rejoicing matter; the speed came partly from rushing, but mostly from lack of information, as I had not retained much throughout the day due to my many distractions. As I worked my way through billing I began to discover instances where I didn’t get paid due to billing errors and my anxiety level skyrocketed. To calm myself and deflect from the moment I pick up my phone to check my social media sites, but before I could, I saw many notifications of missed text messages. I clicked on the envelope to find a graphic recount of an incident a client experienced between her and her husband. In that moment I put my head down into my hands and asked myself, “Will any of this ever go away.”
Here I am, 10:30pm on a Sunday night and I’m contemplating staying up to watch a show, knowing I need to be winding down. The choice is mine. My tomorrow depends on my today. So I’m sitting here, thinking about all of the things that could have went wrong last Monday and last week in general; being sued, subpoenaed by a parent, encountered a dual relationship issue, being controlled by my client, or facing any number of ethical issues. I’m deciding to turn off the television and I’m going to get a good night’s rest.
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| | This story could have had several other twist and turns like the character came to realize in the end. The character in this story made a powerful realization. They realized right then, in that decision-making moment that they must Claim Their Ground! It is imperative that we set healthy boundaries to protect our clients (those who depend on us) and ourselves. Anyone of us can find ourselves living out this clinician’s story or one similar. However, we have the opportunity right now as we read this blog to change how our story ends, so that it doesn’t end in frustration. We can choose in this moment to set boundaries and ‘color in between the lines’. See some important boundary setting tips below:
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| How to Set Boundaries and Color In Between the Lines |
| | Know that...
No is a complete sentence.
You have the right to choose what you want to do. Sometimes you have to tell yourself ‘no’ before you can tell someone else ‘NO’. Be firm and begin to establish healthy boundaries.
Taking care of you is your number one priority
Before you can begin to help someone else you must take care of yourself. Do the things that bring you joy and happiness and this joy and happiness will filter through to others.
Remember you’re not responsible for the other person’s response.
Set healthy boundaries for yourself and only yourself. Remember, if you are respectful you are not responsible for the other person’s response. We are only responsible for ourselves.
Remember it’s a process.
It is important to remember it is a process. We don’t develop unhealthy boundaries overnight, so we won’t develop healthy ones overnight either. It is a process that requires continuous work and willingness to learn and grow. Seek feedback and directions from others who have healthy boundaries. Value your feelings and know that you are worth it.
Note: If you are having a difficult time understanding and establishing healthy boundaries check out my workshop, Claiming Your Ground: Ethical Principles and Practices Essential in your daily Practice
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| | June 25, 2016
9:00am - 4:30pm (onsite registration begins at 8:30am)
Location: Mac Family Center
2236 Wisteria Dr., Snellville, GA 30078 (#230)
Registration:
Early Bird (ends 6.11.16) $125.00 click here to register today!
Regular $140.00 click here to register today!
July 8, 2016
9:00am - 4:30pm (onsite registration begins at 8:30am)
Location: Buford Community Center
2200 Buford Hwy NE, Buford, GA 30518
Registration:
Early Bird (ends 6.24.16) $125.00 click here to register today!
Regular $140.00 click here to register today!
July 9, 2016
9:00am - 4:30pm (onsite registration begins at 8:30am)
Location: A New Level Empowerment and Consultation, LLC
1700 Pennsylvania Ave., McDonough, GA 30253
Drive around the back for entry
Registration:
Early Bird (ends 6.25.16) $125.00 click here to register today!
Regular $140.00 click here to register today!
August 20 2016
9:00am - 4:30pm (onsite registration begins at 8:30am)
Location: North Druid Hills Area
address TBA
Registration:
Early Bird (ends 8.6.16) $125.00 click here to register today!
Regular $140.00 click here to register today! |
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