| One day I was driving through an alley in Venice when I saw an ex-roommate of mine holding his hand over his right eye.
I drove up to him and said, 'Dude, what happened?!'
He removed his hand and showed me a huge black eye that led me to believe that he got punched by Andre the Giant.
'I got punched in the face.'
I offered him a ride and then asked him why he got punched in the face.
'I don't know man, I was just walking down the boardwalk and some dude just punched me in the eye.'
The thing is, my friend knew exactly why he got punched in the eye. He had been acting like a jerk for a good month prior to getting punched––to me and others I knew––so I wasn't exactly surprised. And being a straight-shooting kind of guy, I had to tell him:
'Reginald*, you got punched in the face because you have "punch me" energy right now. You've been kind of jerk for the past month. And when you're a jerk, people that like to punch things will direct that energy towards your face.'
He didn't like hearing it but I took his silence and slightly furrowed brow as an understanding of the truth behind my words.
So what does my friend Reginald have to do with your dating history?
Well, if you've been attracting nothing but jerks and douchebags in the past, and you want to stop dating jerks and douchebags, then you have to look within yourself and find out what about you is attracting these guys.
You are the common denominator of every person that you date.
I'm not saying that you're a jerk.
And I'm not saying that you're a douchebaggette.
But there is something about you that jerks and douchebags are attracted to.
So besides journaling and meditating and spending more time contemplating and less time watching TV, a really good, super fast way to change your character is to change your circle of friends.
You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most.
Look at the good women around you that seem to date nothing but amazing men and and hang out with them more. Look at your friends that are bitter, hate men, and seem to be serial daters of douchebags and hang out with them less.
It can be tough but you've got to do a friend inventory. Surround yourself with positive influences. Only kick it with people that you want to be like. Only have sex with men that you admire.
This is the secret to life. And you got it in one 400-word email.
Be good, Obi
*Reginald was not his real name.
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