I’m stunned.

People have been drinking almond milk for years and never bothered reading
the label!?

This level of apathy, ignorance, and laziness is beyond anything I’ve
ever thought possible...

Just today, in response to the email I sent with subject line “F@#K
Almond Milk,” thousands of readers emailed me asking for the alternative
to almond milk — as if it's a food group they need to replace.

Are you kidding me? That’s like an alcoholic dying of liver failure
asking, "What whiskey should I replace Wild Turkey with?"

I really didn't go to college and graduate school (on scholarship) to teach
people how to read fucking labels.

It's not that hard. You put your phone down. Grab the product. Flip it
over. Then skip over the nutrition facts and scroll down to "Added
Ingredients."

Watch the magic happen.

It'll be like cracking The Babington Plot.

Similar to revealing the plan to assassinate Queen Elizabeth, the true
agenda will unfold. (They're fucking LYING about the almonds being healthy.
It's all about poising you with sugar!)

You can do the same for Vitamin Water, Gatorade, Kombucha, Coconut Water,
Soy Milk, Vitamin D Milk, Fortified Milk, Rice Milk...basically any shit that's a
liquid, carries a health claim, and is sold at Whole Foods.

All of it is garbage with added cane sugar, artificial flavors, artificial
sweeteners, and much more...

Every year in Santa Monica, the beverage manufacturers fly in on their
private jets to discuss how they swindled the masses into buying their
sickening sweet beverages.

I attend. My name tag always reads "Eric Blair." When people ask me what I
do, I inform them I'm just a pilot learning about the beverage industry.

Since I'm too nice, I punch nobody...

I sit quietly and listen to how these beverage-fucks add sucralose,
aspartame and cane sugar in just the right amounts to optimize "mouth
feel," so consumers — especially kids — buy more...

...the Sparkling Ice guys are there. Cow Wow guys...Coconut guys...Kombucha
hippies...Juice dorks....

The whole circus is always in attendance, eager to stroke each other’s
egos and be included in the popularity contest.

At lunch, you get to break and speak to these boneheads personally. At
"hello," you realize they couldn't find a table of contents in a chemistry
book if their life depended on it.

For them, it’s all about the money. Like selling a van to a molester,
they're always winning in the sales department thanks to artificial
addiction created via "mouth-feel."

(I secretly want to choke them with a bottle of water and ask, “How good
is that mouth-feel now motherfucker?")

...The only company worth mentioning is Zevia. Led by Paddy Spence, the
entire crew is intelligent, honest and humble. And it shows in their
products.

Otherwise, the entire health food industry is a ruse designed to hook you
on the latest blend of sickening-sweet liquid, courtesy of chemical
engineers and beverage marketers.

That includes almond milk!…which means, there's no alternative! You think
almond milk is enhancing you with some fucking super power? (Well, it sure
as hell isn't reading!)

The only thing almond milk enhances is FAT STORING HORMONES.

You want an alternative for that?

Go drink Monster.

Otherwise, stick to spring water, organic coffee, tea, and raw milk.

(If you can't drink raw milk, well then, don't fucking drink it! You
don’t need a replacement!)

Anything else other than truly natural beverages are just raising your
blood sugar. When that happens, your fat burning hormones are squashed!
Your testosterone crashes! Your brain registers all this as being satiated
(full). Then you start skipping meals. And once that happens, you miss out
on key nutrients.

At that point, you might as well call it quits, go to Vegas, let your face
attack the nearest buffet, go snort a few lines of coke, dance your ass off
at a strip club and call it good...'cause in time, sugary-sweet health
beverages do the exact same thing for your health: nothing.

Here's the quick fix. I promise! It's a totally natural blend of true
cinnamon and milk thistle that practically erases all the stupid shit
you’ve eaten (and drank) over the years, and repairs your body one cell
at a time...

If you're a crackhead or dutifully swallowing 10 prescription meds, then
you can still take this to help you crawl back to some semblance of health:

www.getcinnergy.com

But hurry, because I don't make a ton of bottles...obviously, I'm not
selling to the masses here...I just can't conform.

In fact, when Dr. Oz producers called to invite me to their show, I
failed...I failed to pretend I gave a fuck. I failed to act like it would
be great for my business. I failed to play the dutiful role of guest and
jump as high as they wanted me to...All I could do was say, "Give me a
fucking break. Fuck you guys," and hang up.

But hey, I'm still selling the best shit online: www.getcinnergy.com

Take Cinnergy and help your hormones and liver rebound! Give it a week and
you'll see better mental alertness, lower blood sugar and less cravings:

www.getcinnergy.com

Dare to live young,

The People's Chemist

P.S. Don't email me complaining that I'm sold out of Cinnergy just because
you hesitated: www.getcinnergy.com - super inexpensive, super effective,
and you can still take if you're a drug addict! Perfect! See www.getcinnergy.com
Get the sugar in check, clean the LIVER!!!!!