Brothers and Sisters,

I began writing this on Sunday; it is now Tuesday. As most of you are hopefully now aware, after what was by all accounts and experiences a powerful, beautiful, challenging, and deep work to celebrate the day of St. John, many people who attended have come down with symptoms of COVID-19. As of this updated writing, 50% of those in attendance have symptoms ranging from mild to severe; based on the varying progression and behavior of the virus, it is possible that that number will continue go up as it has every day since the work. Those are the facts, whether you are someone who takes the science seriously or not, whether you have chosen to believe in the reality and scope of the virus or not, and regardless of your political or philosophical or medical choices in relation to COVID. 

There are a lot of serious things happening in this country around matters of choice and human rights. This is a challenging time to be on Earth and in this country, especially for anyone other than wealthy, able-bodied, cis-gendered heterosexual white males. And, we as grounders of Light on Earth have worked, and continue to work, to create a space in which all are welcome because we have the blessing of the Daime to give us that opportunity – if we choose to make the most of it – to sift through the noise (including that created by our own egos and craziness and opinions) and connect with what is underneath, which is our individual and collective hearts. Only I know what is in my heart, just as only you know what is in yours; the point is not necessarily to share all of that intimate information, but rather to connect with each other from that place of relative quiet and grounding, that place “underneath the noise” in which we might consider not WHO is right, but WHAT is right – on the moral, ethical, spiritual, practical, material, and human levels – without the distraction of ideology, dogma, opinion, and confusion. 

This does not mean that we ignore the heinous things happening in the world, or pretend everything is all spiritually hunky-dory; we should not be in the practice of bypassing. Rather, it means that we make the choice to approach reality with our eyes and hearts open, from a place of compassion and self-awareness, self-responsibility and humility and real human connection and with a willingness to learn. It means that, if we’re very brave, we are willing to let go of our opinions and change our minds. This is what inclusivity means to me; the point is not to make a space where everyone will feel comfortable. That is an impossible task, and in the Daime and nearly everywhere else, comfort is tantamount to stagnation. Comfort denies us opportunities to grow. That’s not why we do what we do. Rather, an inclusive space is one in which everyone feels safe and secure. Safe enough to be in their discomfort, to make a study of it; secure enough to be held in compassion and Light while they stretch the edges of their personal comfort zone and in doing so, achieve the next step in their own spiritual and personal evolution, whatever that might be.

So, let’s talk about what this means in the context of this past work and the resulting spread of a virus that, whatever you have chosen to believe or practice, is very real. I personally find it offensive, callous, manipulative, arrogant, and an example of willful ignorance when people dismiss as no big deal - or actively choose to be imprudent about - something that has personally affected and/or claimed the lives of people that I know and love. Each time someone makes a selfish choice – which is each person’s prerogative – it acts to compromise the safety and security of the space we share, and in doing so amounts to an intentional choice to put your brothers, sisters, dear ones, friends, and our elders in danger. We are members of a community, and although we aren’t all close friends, we have something sacred that brings us together, something that offers us a unique opportunity to access that space of calm and truth and potential. And, we have to be with things as they are, not what we wish they were or what we’ve convinced ourselves they are against all reason and logic and evidence. Our first responsibility is to take care of each other.

In that spirit, there are people in this circle who have made it their life’s mission to make sure that we are all taken care of – first and foremost that we all have the right to drink Daime. Some of you were around for that fight, and so hopefully you have some inkling of understanding about how taxing it was on the people involved. How much work was required, how much relentlessness and grit, how much sacrifice. How much resistance and fear and judgement and vitriol and projection, how many attempts at sabotage and subterfuge from all sides, especially from within the Daime world and even from within this community, those people had to fend off while also contending with the United States government. My intention is not to guilt trip you, but to offer background and context and an opportunity to understand that our “right” to drink Daime didn’t just happen because we wanted it or because it was God-given. It came to be because human beings, with assistance and guidance and fortification from Divine Beings, worked relentlessly and courageously to make it so. 

What some people fail to understand – including people in the Daime – is that rights are inseparable from responsibilities and do not exist without sacrifice. Throughout the arc of human civilization, with only a few societies as exceptions, the most important and sacred and fundamental rights have all been won through battle. It is in the annals of history, it is happening in our world right now, and it is in the hymns of our doctrine. I want to be able to continue to drink Daime because I have chosen it and it has chosen me. The Daime is not a path for the faint of heart or the lazy of action or for the selfish, although all of those people do drink Daime. It is not the easy path, the most direct path, or the path where it’s all laid out in convenient steps. The Daime is hard, really hard sometimes, and shows us things that we don’t like about ourselves and our ways of being and acting. What am I going to do with that information? I can tell you what I try to do, which is to be reminded and humbled, to learn, to know that I’m going to fall down and forget but also to make it a point to get back up and keep going with a renewed faith and with gratitude for the challenges that brought me here.

This is possible because a fundamental truth of being in the Daime is that it is a relationship, one that takes work and a willingness to – if I’m doing it right, as in any relationship – look at all aspects of myself with compassion AND ALSO with relentless self-responsibility. The Daime gives me a lot – my life – and it is also my responsibility to give back. Luckily, this one is also a relationship with an infinitely patient and forgiving friend, guide, and teacher who wants what’s best for me and will offer me ample opportunities to achieve it, even if the whisper becomes a nudge becomes a push becomes a 2x4 upside the head. I’ll do my best to get it eventually, and I – and we all – must accept and embrace that “best for us” might not be what we have decided is best, and therein lies the challenge and the opportunity of this path.

Lots of people like to just show up and drink Daime and bask in the Light and/or make it about their own sensibilities and needs, and that’s fine. But that’s not doing what Mestre said in his decree, and that’s not what the hymns tell us. When each of us puts on that uniform, we are entering into several agreements, on several levels. There is of course the spiritual agreement, first and foremost; there is also the practical and behavioral one, which is outlined in the decree and tells us that it is our mandate to each bring what strength and honor we can to the works, to take care of our families and selves, to care for each other in community, and to behave with integrity. That is the agreement I made, and that is the agreement anyone who puts on that farda makes. I make sure to be mindful of that each time I put it on, and to do my best to act accordingly. This is because I also understand that while we all have the right to drink Daime legally, the actuality of doing so on a material, practical level is a privilege that I must continue to earn through my actions. This is the difference between a right and a privilege; one exists whether I choose to participate or not. The other is something that, if I choose it, must be continually earned.

The truth is that COVID is tricky, and it will likely slip through the cracks no matter what we do. This doesn’t mean we should do nothing. The tests, although not 100% accurate, are close enough (when conducted properly) to be useful. On the other hand, when done improperly, they produce a false negative and are therefore utterly useless. The most useful thing is for each person to take responsibility for the truth of how they are feeling and how they are behaving in their lives, and I know that not everyone in this circle does this with consciousness or integrity when it comes to making an evaluation and the related choices. This has to change if we want to be able to claim that we’re doing what can be done to allow us to continue to hold works with as much safety as we can realistically attain, if we want to continue to have the privilege of coming together. Right now things have gotten lax and we are collectively doing a poor job of holding each other accountable, especially in light of the fact that some people refuse to do that for themselves. That is not in the spirit of what our patron José Rosa believed and practiced; his way was one of hard-won self-reflection, humility, and uncompromising self-responsibility and accountability. We do him dishonor and we dishonor the foundations, mission, and purpose of our church by doing things any other way. 

Here are some things that you need to be asking yourself every time you consider coming to a work at CHLQ:

• What have I been up to in my daily life? Where have I been? Who have I been around that might have exposed me – and therefore everyone else – to risk?

• Am I coming to the work even when I have “mild allergy symptoms” that I discount as due to tiredness from my daily life or pollen in the air? Is that the right thing to do regardless of what I might want?

• Am I counting on a negative self-test as blanket permission to come to the work, discounting other indicators?

• Am I conducting that self-test with proper technique so that I give myself the best chance at an accurate result, understanding that it is still not the only factor in my decision about whether to attend? 

If there isn’t certainty that you’re doing what you realistically can to take care of everyone, DON’T COME. This will ensure that there will be future opportunities to drink Daime. 

Quite simply, what you believe about COVID or your position on taking tests or what conspiracies you believe in are all completely irrelevant. They are your opinions, to which you are entitled. However, coming to church means that each of us has to make some sacrifices for the good of all beings which includes your brothers and sisters and dear ones with whom you sing and sit or dance in close proximity and within and enclosed space. It is not about just having a negative test; they are not carte blanche to ignore other factors, like possible exposures and symptoms and your own intuition and erring on the side of safety. Some people are taking this care; some people are not.

We all have COVID fatigue, AND: For the sake of our hard-won right and our earned privilege to drink Daime, I am asking those of you that are not in that conscious and community health-oriented space to take responsibility for yourselves, sacrifice your attachment to your opinions, and do what is necessary, whether or not it’s convenient or enjoyable or agreeable, to make sure that our sacred space is also one of safety. These are small asks, and opportunities to be in truth. The bottom line is that if our space can’t be safe, we all keep the right that some fought so hard for, but also all lose the privilege that some have failed to earn. We all want to drink Daime, but our wants are not the point. The last question I will pose for your consideration is this: Are your desires, opinions, and ideologies more important than the good of your community and the health of your elders? The answer will guide the next steps you take.

Sincerely,

Aaron