Here is why...
Let's be honest. How many times we've been told and sold this idea...
"Learn this XYZ speaking technique and by the help of it you'll start speaking fluently and overcome your stuttering!"
How many times you came across to a "stuttering solution" promising something along those lines?
Not only books or online products/programs, even well known stuttering therapy clinics are using this approach to hook us up with their "unique solution".
How do I know this?
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Because, I had been a victim of those for years!
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I had tried everything you can imagine, had spent more than $25,000 in the process(no kidding)...but got no results(best case - temporary results).
By the way, don't get me wrong. I strongly believe that overcoming stuttering is possible...but NOT with the above "promise" or "suggestion"!
Let me explain...
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What is it that comes to your mind first when I tell you that you'll learn a technique to be able to start speaking fluently?
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You'd probably think:
"Great! Let me learn this technique, start using it and speak fluently in any speaking situation...in a way that people won't be able to tell that I have a stuttering challenge in life".
That is an awful approach and mindset which can easily ruin your chances to overcome stuttering!
Why? What's wrong with it?
Everything!
With that approach and mindset; what do people do?
Exactly!...They start using the technique so that they can HIDE their stuttering!
The sole purpose of the technique is "use it and start speaking like a non-stutterer".
The worst mistake ever!
End of story... before it even begins.
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So, what should you do instead?
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This is a deep subject but let me share a few core ideas with you, so you can approach the use of speaking techniques the right way...and not waste time, money and energy like I did for years.
Any speaking technique is there to give you confidence that you can do it - that you can actually speak the way you want to speak in any situation!
BUT...
That does NOT mean you'll start using the technique like a master for the primary purpose of hiding your stuttering from the first day.
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Using a speaking technique effectively is like any other skill you learn.
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Let's take the skill of "driving a car"...
Did you learn driving your car like a Formula 1 driver from the first day?
Or did you try to learn it slowly by consciously thinking every single step while you are practicing it?
Of course you didn't start perfect and as any skill you master the skill with practice in time, right?
So, what makes you believe that you can learn a speaking skill(a technique) and start being perfect with it from the first day?
Sorry, I am being honest and a bit harsh with you here, but I'm sick of people lying to us just to get us "on board"...and they do more harm to our journey even when we had a chance to make it!
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When you first start learning a speaking technique; it's NOT a tool to HIDE your stuttering, it is a tool that...
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1) keeps you away from going "out of control"!
2) gives you the confidence to face your fears and get positive results so that you can prove yourself that you can actually DO it!
But, those don't mean that you'll use your technique to hide your stuttering in a way that people can't tell you have a speech challenge in life.
Because you do...and unless you face that reality, you can't improve (and eventually overcome) your stuttering.
That's plain truth!
In fact, in the initial stages of your journey, you should also use your technique to work on strengthening your mindset and inner game!
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Mindset and inner game is the backbone of your "overcoming stuttering" journey.
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I can guarantee you this;
If your mindset is wrong, no technique will work for you(even the best technique!)
...and only when your mindset and inner game is right, even the average techniques start to work. Because, you use them the right way!
...not necessarily the way you use them but the way you approach using them becomes completely different!
I've worked with and met thousands of stutterers who overcame stuttering.
...and all of them did it by getting their mindset right, inner game strong and by building confidence that they can do it...and none of those people need any technique to speak fluently anymore.
Why?
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Because we all know how to speak like other "fluent people". If that wasn't the case, we couldn't speak fluently in any situation.
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We all know that we have times that our speech flows smoothly.
How come we can say our name to a 3 years old kid smoothly, but get stuck when we asked to introduce ourselves in front of a group of people?
Our speech mechanism already knows how to produce sounds. But when our thoughts and mindset interferes with it, our inner game triggers our stuttering behavior.
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So, here is what I'd suggest you when it comes to mastering your speaking technique(or any speaking technique you are using)
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Please stop believing that the solution to stuttering is learning a technique and applying it in a way that no one will realize...especially in the initial stages.
Everyone will know that you are not a Formula-1 driver when you first get on the driver seat.
It's a new skill for you, so people should be able to tell you're working on something. If not, you are doing it all wrong anyways!
I know it's not easy to face this. I know this needs you to be very strong inside. But trust me, it's not hard to be mentally strong IF you know what to do and stick with it.
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So, what's the solution?
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Let me share 3 steps with you that I suggest you to follow if you really want to improve your speech to a great level and overcome your stuttering so that you can speak the way you want to speak in any situation without stress...
1) Definitely get your inner game and mindset right before doing anything else. Inner game is the most important aspect of your stuttering dissolution journey and it's mostly about the mindset you need to be in to be able to approach and dissolve your stuttering the right way!
2) Learn effective speaking techniques (but don't try to use them so you can "hide" your stuttering - at least not in the initial stages).
Remember; "using your techniques like a master so no one can realize" is a skill you build over time with experience...plus with the support of a strong inner game!
It'll take some time but you'll be improving your speech every single day gradually.
3) Practice your new speaking skill with the right mindset in real life situations.
...and NO, do not practice when you are alone in your room. Some people do this and they think they are practicing and improving their speaking technique when they are alone.
This is where our stuttering and speaking technique differs from other skills. We have to practice our speaking technique in real life speaking situations, because that's when our stuttering behavior is being triggered!
You might not stutter in your room speaking to yourself saying a specific sentence, but you can block on every single word of that same sentence when it's in a stressful real life situation.
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So, how are you going to practice and master your skill when you first start then?
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We all have our own stress and fear level when it comes to specific words, sounds or situations.
For example;
- Speaking to yourself when alone - no stress situation, therefore is not a practice!
- Calling a close friend on the phone - possibly a low stress situation for you.
- Presenting in front of a group of people - probably a high stress situation.
You see how you got stress levels?
Just consider these and initially start practicing in low stress situations. In time, with some positive results, you can start stepping into high stress situations, use your technique and master it gradually.
...which ends up being your stuttering dissolution journey which will provide you the mastery to speak the way you want to speak in any situation to anybody!
And that's what I mean by dissolving and overcoming your stuttering challenge in life.
I hope you find today's email helpful.
I put together SDMP not as a result of my own journey only but also as a result of hundreds of other successful "overcoming stuttering" journeys as well.
Me, my students and my teachers(mentors)... we all use the inner game of stuttering this as the most important part of our stuttering dissolution journey.
Because, to be honest, every day that passes without making anything about our speech, is another day we miss from our future.
I don't know your case, but if you think improving your speech to a great level would make a huge impact in your life, then let the SDMP inner game of stuttering package be the starting point of your personal transformation.
And if you have any questions, just reply back and let me know. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Wishing you all the best,
Chazzler
P.S: I believe the most important aspect of overcoming stuttering journey is the inner game of stuttering. So make sure to get it strong so you can play a strong "speech game" in life. A game you can win every single time...
