- -> Would you stutter if you need to give the same speech in the same seminar room... but this time to an empty room? (it's just you speaking to an empty room - no audience)
If you're like 99.9% of stutterers you won't stutter even once.
Just like you don't stutter when you speak to your cat or dog!
Just like you don't stutter when you speak to a 3 months old baby!
Just like you wouldn't stutter if you go through a memory loss and completely forget that you have a stuttering issue in life.
So what does this tell you?
It tells you that we as stutterers (including you) have the ability to speak fluently. There is nothing we are missing "physically", because you know that you CAN do it in some situations.
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The problem arises when some "things" TRIGGER your stuttering behavior.
So what are those "things"?
The answer of that question is very important.
Because, if you figure out what those things are and if you can stop those triggers from happening, then you CAN speak fluently without any speech blocks.
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I believe there are 3 core "things" that triggers our stuttering behavior.
1) Our THOUGHTS
2) Our BELIEFS
3) Our EMOTIONAL STATE
Let me give you some examples...
Example on "Thought Trigger":
-> You met with a group of new people and the moment you sit on their table they asked you your name. Immediately(even before you saying your name) you start thinking:
"I always stutter on my name. It starts with a feared sound which I almost always block on. What if I block again while saying my name now? I don't want to stutter and make a fool of myself in front of these people who I just met..."
And the next thing you now, you BLOCK on your name.
Example on "Belief Trigger":
-> You're about to have an important meeting with your boss who is a tough guy. Your beliefs around this specific situation starts to run itself:
"I always have hard time speaking to authority figures. For some reason my speech gets out of control in these types of situations. This won't be different... and when I block, I won't be able to express myself clearly so he won't like my answers - therefore he won't be happy with my performance..."
And the next thing you know, your speech goes out of control and you start hitting BLOCKS during the meeting.
Example on "Emotional State Trigger":
Do you realize how your speech gets worse in some days?
Or do you realize why you have problems with your speech when you talk to specific type of people (e.g: authority figures such as policeman, tough boss, security guy, lawyer, doctor, even body builders, etc.) ?
Those are happening exactly because of this trigger!
-> You're at a bar with your friends. You see a beautiful woman across the bar. You made a strong eye contact with her and she slightly smiled but you don't know if she smiled to you or something/someone else. All your friends are like "go go go... she likes you man! Just go and meet her". Then your emotions starts to form and your emotional state changes.
Your new emotional state makes you feel a specific way!
In this case, you start to feel unsure about yourself...
"What if she doesn't like and rejects me - or even worse what if she likes me now but rejects me when she realizes my speech? What if I got rejected and my friends make fun of me about this incident for the rest of my life? That will make me feel like a loser..."
And the next thing you know; you either approach her and start stuttering the moment you feel she might not interested in meeting you OR you avoid the situation completely.
Any change in your emotions is called emotional state.
That can happen due to:
- Your past experiences (feeling of your dad getting frustrated when you couldn't speak fluently when you were a kid)
OR
- Your future concerns (feeling of being judged).
And those emotional states can cause your speech blocks.
That's why when you FEEL on top of the world and extremely confident, you probably don't stutter as much.
***
So... long story short;
I believe stuttering is NOT a physical speech problem.
Yes, physical struggle is how it appears but it is just a symptom, definitely NOT the core cause!
The core cause is those 3 triggers I listed above.
Sometimes one of them, other times a mixture of all 3.
They are the ones that triggers your stuttering behavior (physical speech struggle) due to the negative experiences around your speech that you faced in your life till this point.
So if you like to overcome stuttering the right way, you need to focus on dissolving those 3 triggers around your stuttering.
If you keep focusing on just that, you'll become a stuttering success story just like many others I met or work with in the last 20 years.
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So...
All my digital products that I shared EVERYTHING I know about stuttering and how to overcome it the right way...
Is it an instant cure?
Definitely not!
Overcoming stuttering is a journey.
For some people it might take 1-2 years. For others it might take 6 months and for some others it might take just a few months... or even weeks in some cases.
But it is a JOURNEY.
And if you learn to ENJOY the journey, you'll end up achieving your ultimate goal while enjoying the process.
It's a fun process. It's a process that you GROW as a person.
People lose, because they get stuck with the thought of their ultimate goal which is "I want to speak fluently".
However, if you learn to enjoy the journey (by improving your speech every single day) then that ultimate goal will be a by-product of that journey!
Most people miss their life because they are stuck with the thought of their end goal.
They get paralyzed.
And this is true not only for speech goals but also money goals, relationship goals, etc.
They say:
"One day, WHEN I reach that ultimate goal of mine, I'll be happy... I'll have fun... I'll do this and that"
No, stop doing that!
That's a sure way of failing and MISSING the life.
Instead learn to enjoy the journey and have fun with it.
If you do that, you'll reach your ultimate goal anyway...while living every single second of your life to the fullest!
Your goals and your life is NOT a destination, it's a JOURNEY.
Wishing you all the best in your journey, Friend!
All the best,
Chazzler
