Happy Holidays and 9 Tips For The Holiday Season
December 27th, 2010 at 6:59 am EESTHey Friend,
The holiday season is already here and I hope you are enjoying it to the fullest.
When it comes to our speech, it might be a period which brings some difficulties
with it. There are lots of socializing involved during this season. Family get togethers,
parties (work/school/organizations you are a part of/neighborhood/etc.). The phrase
“get together for socializing” is enough to bring some stress by itself.
So in this article I wanted to list 9 tips which will help you to both cope with your stutter
and also will hopefully give you a different perspective about life in general.
Enjoy…
Tip 1- First things first. The best present you can give to your loved ones is
to be there “in the moment” with them. If you are at a family get together
and you are speaking with others, just fully engage them, get rid of playing with
your phone, text messaging, internet, tv, thoughts/worries in your mind, etc.
Speak to them by looking them right in the eye and speak from the heart.
Tip 2- If you have been working on some speaking techniques, don’t let them go
during this holiday season. We tend to be spontaneous since we get excited
during those get together events… and this is understandable, however
make sure you use your speaking techniques all the time and you won’t get lost
in uncontrollable spontaneous speech.
Tip 3- If you are using some effective, result oriented speaking techniques and tools
with the right mindset then you are on the go. Speak as much as you can
throughout the day and do not avoid any word or situation.
Tip 4- Learn to be a great listener as well. We as stutterers are too hang up on the
negative thoughts racing in our mind. We constantly worry about our speech
and how others might perceive us. We sometimes forget about everything else
going around us and we let stuttering hijack our whole brain and “self”. Don’t
forget that listening is one of the most important keys and is a mandatory
component of effective communication.
Tip 5- Don’t try to “hide” your stutter… and remember that communication is not
only about fluent speech. Besides, the first step to solve this challenge of you
is to accept it on the first place. So, don’t hide your speech and let them appreciate
the drastic change in you the next time you meet them.
Tip 6- Don’t ever think that you are “less” than any other person out there.
Your stuttering doesn’t make you a less person, in fact it is a huge
gift which if used correctly for your self-development, may turn you
into a complete person whom everybody would admire.
Tip 7- Do something for yourself which will make you feel good. I love
going out and helping people…very minor may be but it still makes
a difference. Go visit home for the elderly, kids with no parents...
If you don’t have time or opportunity for all that, then just help an
elderly to cross the road, make somebody feel good, buy a chocolate
to a kid, etc. The opportunities are endless and it is time to get out of
our monotone daily life full of stress and worries, and start looking at life
from a broader perspective. You’ll see that everybody has their flaws and
everybody needs help in life. They need help in other areas of their life,
just like you need help with your speech and stuttering.
Tip 8- Make a joke about your speech and laugh. Don’t make a joke which would
put your speech and you as a person down though. Let me give you a somewhat funny
example from my own experiences.
There was a time when I was focusing and working on giving
longer pauses. It was the holiday season and as you know
family gatherings are full of spontaneous speech. I had to
keep this part of my technique strong though, otherwise I knew
I was going to lose total control and was not going to be able to
manage my speech the way I wanted to.
I could see that people realized me speaking with longer pauses.
That was a great time for me to both let them know why and also
make sure I won’t let my “speaking tool” go just because I may
look and sound a bit “not like them”.
I immediately make a joke and said “You might be wondering why I’ve
been speaking with long pauses… and I think you have the right to
know this since you are a part of this family and the future of our
name might be greatly affected due to this fact (the tension was
building up, especially with those even longer pauses:) ). The news is;
I just got an offer from a political party. They want me to be a candidate
for the upcoming elections.. and I am working on my speech delivery
skills.. the politician way.. you know, the cool way;)
[you know how charismatic politicians speak with long pauses by putting a lot of thought in it]
That 2-3 sentence joke had quite a number of messages in it which was
truly serving my purpose and it worked great.
I thought this might be a good example for you… and No! I didn’t take the
offer because I decided I could speak the politician way but I could never lie the
politician way :)
Tip 9- And last but definitely not least. Love yourself. In this journey called “life”
you need yourself more than you need anybody else. Don’t become your worst
enemy and ruin your whole life. You deserve to be liked and respected,
but that has to start with you. If you don’t like and respect yourself on the
first place, nobody will. Appreciate who you are and set goals to improve yourself
and become better in 2011.
I hope 2011 will be the year of success which you’ll achieve your
speaking goals, become an effective communicator and be able to live
a fulfilled life.
Happy Holidays and thanks for being a part of Stuttering Dissolution in 2010.
I wish you all the best and looking forward to a great 2011 with you.
Just like one of my mentors used to say:
Live fully, love openly and make a difference…
Your friend,
Chazzler