| | | Hi Friend,
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply emotions to be more collaborative and productive with others.
Successful leaders and superior performers tend to have superb emotional intelligence skills. The most intriguing aspect of emotional intelligence is that it is not fixed. With a little hard work and some ambition, emotional intelligence can be developed over time.
The Basics
Emotional intelligence is composed of five distinct factors:
SELF-AWARENESS: The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives as well as their effect on others.
SELF-REGULATION: The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and the
propensity to think before acting.
MOTIVATION: A passion for work that transcends money or status. Motivation reflects the amount of energy and persistence you apply to an activity.
SOCIAL AWARENESS: The ability to understand the emotional makeup of others.
SOCIAL REGULATION: The ability to proficiently manage relationships and build networks.
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| | 1. Journal Every Day
Each day, reflect on your presence and journal how your emotions impact your goals, motivations, strengths and key aspirations. Be completely honest with yourself; this is an opportunity to learn and grow. Once you have identified behavioral trends, discuss your observations with a trusted advisor, family member or friend. Develop a plan to identify and address the instances that impact your ability to maintain composure
Ask Yourself - When did I feel good today?
- When did I not feel good today?
- How do I act when I feel good vs. when I don’t feel good?
2. Identify Triggers
Each day, reflect on the connection between your emotions and your behavior. Identify those behaviors that trigger a negative reaction. Once you have identified the negative triggers, come up with three alternative responses that you can have ready the next time you encounter a trigger.
Ask Yourself
- When I am set off, how do I respond?
- What would be a better response?
- How can I change those responses?
3. Exercise Regularly
Regular physical activity increases your ability to manage your emotions and relax. Physical exertion produces chemicals in the brain that improve your mood and make you more relaxed. Specifically, the brain releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins throughout the body.
Ask Yourself
- What kind of exercise do I enjoy most?
- How can I get more of this exercise?
- Are there small activities I can do throughout the day, like walking at lunch or taking the stairs?
4. Practice Mindfulness
Meditation, daily quiet reflection and yoga are three common methodologies
used to practice mindfulness. In its most simple form, mindfulness can be nothing more than slowing yourself down to give your mind and body a break. During this time, consider not only what you are feeling, but also how these emotions came to be and if they are serving you well. A frequently used exercise in meditation is asking “what is the worst that can happen?” which helps to put things in perspective.
Ask Yourself
- What emotions am I feeling?
- What caused these emotions?
- What is the worst that can happen?
5. Document Specific Goals
Once you identify your specific emotional intelligence goals you need to improve, revisit them regularly to ensure you are on track to achieve them. Place these in a journal or on your calendar so that you can make them visible. Create a ritual where you review your goals and targets each day. Celebrate your small victories!
Ask Yourself
- What do I want to accomplish with regard to my emotions and feelings?
- When do I want to achieve these goals?
- Which rituals and/or habits do I need to practice to help these goals?
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| | 6. Visualize Your Aspirations
It’s important to not only consider the journey to accomplish your goals, but also what the end state will look like. Specifically, print out pictures to create a mood or vision board. Change your background photo on your laptop and cell phone to help you visualize your end game. Seeing the end on a daily basis helps you to keep your goals and their progress top of mind.
Ask Yourself
- What does my ideal state look like?
- How will I feel when I get there?
- Why is this goal important to me?
7. Predict the Response
When communicating with others, ask yourself how people will react to your gestures or statements. When you anticipate their feelings, you’re considering the potential response a person may give. Being socially aware will help you be more successful in communicating with others you achieve your goals. In short, you create win-win situations when you predict emotional responses before communicating with others.
Ask Yourself
- How does this person feel right now?
- How do I know how this person feels?
- How might I make this person feel (even) better?
8. Careful Observation
According to a study by Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer researcher of body language in the 1950’s, over 55% of communication is sent through non-verbals. Some people believe this number is even higher. These nonverbals include facial expressions, hand gestures, nervous ticks and body posture. Paying careful attention to these important communication cues can create insight into the feelings and emotions of the person with whom you communicate. Being aware of your own non-verbals will help you from sending the wrong message.
Ask Yourself
- What is my own body language currently saying?
- What is the other person’s body language telling me about them right now?
- If they felt better, how would their body language change?
9. Find Common Ground
Show a genuine curiosity for others and their well-being. Identify and appreciate what makes a person stand out from others in the crowd. To explore areas of interest, ask the other person questions and listen intently. Comment on areas
of common interest and build from there. Most of all, be present in the conversation.
Ask Yourself
- What does this person care most about?
- What do I have in common with this person?
- How can I build a bridge to their interests?
10. Maintain Eye Contact
In Western cultures, strong eye contact shows that you have interest in what others are saying. Doing so shows respect and caring. Be sure to look up from your phone, tablet or laptop to make eye contact. Use expressions that indicate you’re interested by raising your eyebrows and leaning forward. Communication
is much more than the words you use in a conversation.
Ask Yourself
- How can I let this person know they have my undivided attention?
- What facial expressions would make them feel respected?
- How might I listen more intently?
Summary
There are many methods to increasing your emotional intelligence. The suggestions in this guide are just a few. Effective leaders all over the world
regularly employ strong emotional intelligence to obtain superior results. In short, they do the little things that set them apart from the rest.
You have the ability to improve your emotional intelligence and accomplish great things. Just as a home is built brick by brick, emotional intelligence is built over time. Take advantage of your opportunity to develop your emotional intelligence by working on it actively today. With just a little more effort and attention each day, you will be amazed at what you can build when you improve your emotional intelligence.
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“No matter the situation don't let your emotions overpower your intelligence.”
― Turcois Ominek
Many of my clients have used the TTI Success Insights method to measure emotional intelligence with an assessment called “Emotional Quotient,” or “EQ” with very good results. The EQ assessment measures your ability to sense, understand and effectively apply the power and acumen of your emotions and the emotions of others in order to facilitate high levels of collaboration and productivity.
Have a great week!
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| | | Steve Porcaro Founder SalesPlus MVP Coaching & Training Steve@SalesPlusMVP.com
860-243-9757
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| | Business Coaching & Personal Development | Inspirational Coach, Trainer & Speaker |
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