When it's too hot to get out to the range

Subject: When it's too hot to get out to the range

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Whew, them temps are rising across the country. I've never really been a shorts guy and I think if I switched now there's bound to be panic in the streets from the blinding light reflected off my pasty calves. It's getting pretty bad, though. Whenever I get up off of my chair at work, my buddies say it looks like I'm trying to do that Soulja Boy dance as I continually attempt to unstick my balls from each other. Ladies, I'm sure there is some female equivalent to this annoyance, but just be happy you get to live a whole life without knowing this pain. It's basically having one of your most sensitive body parts plastered and continually smashed together like a toddler learning how to make their very first s'more. Ladies, it's like when you forget to clean the lint trap in the dryer and then have to pull a big clump of lint off your favorite hoody. Oh, and that clump was also somehow doused in a vat of hot tree sap. Check out how other people have decided to cool off.