Hey Friend,
For 50% of my week, I share my house with my three wonderful children, aged between 16 and 8. They are independent and very capable…but not always that responsible or aware.
Yesterday, I asked my eldest son to do the laundry; he said “ok”.
Today, I noticed the washed clothes still sitting in the machine. So I asked him, “Did you do the laundry yesterday?” and he said “yep”.
So then I said, “What specifically did you do yesterday when I asked you to do the laundry?” and he said “I put all the dry clothes that were on the rack into the basket and put it inside”.
I feel sorry for my kids, having a mum who coaches people for a living…I’m often asking more questions than I’m telling them what to do. And when my questions start, they know they won’t get away with a grunt or a one-word response.
“Ok, so what specifically does ‘do the laundry’ mean to you?”
“For what purpose do you think I ask you to ‘do the laundry’?”
“What else might be included in this process?”
“What do you think happens to clothes that sit wet in a washing machine for too long?”
“And would you like to wear clothes that have been sitting for too long and now stink?”
“So what might ‘do the laundry’ involve in the future?”
***Note: these are the questions I wanted to ask, but he walked away from me after the second one, waving his hand, saying “YES Mum, I KNOW”…
I acknowledge that my initial request was perhaps too high-level, but I assumed my son knew that “doing the laundry” included all steps in the end-to-end process. Alas, this was not the case. What he saw directly in front of him was the need to bring the dry clothes inside (he wasn’t wrong) - that was it.
This scenario is similar to what I see leaders experiencing with their staff…and the outcomes aren't great. Many leaders will pick up the slack and do the work themselves, over having a specific conversation about what was expected. Or they’ll drop hints and hope the problem rectifies itself over time (it rarely does).
What we need to do, when things haven’t gone as expected, is ask questions to go deeper and understand where the gap is and where there is opportunity for improvement. It's when you're communicating in the detail that you can identify what specific aspects could be done differently (often it's the smallest of tweaks that is required). This is what getting micro involves - it’s not micro-management, it’s just management.
For those needing a differentiation between what is and isn’t micromanagement, here's a little extra...
