Hey Friend
Over the past few months I've been savouring words of wisdom from Brene Brown's latest book, Atlas of the Heart. What a mind blower! It has challenged so much of how I think and view the world.
Today I want to share with you one particular piece of wisdom that gives weight to the importance of boundaries.
Brene shares that "we can't connect with someone unless we're clear about where we end and they begin." She also shares a quote from Prentis Hemphill which beautifully summarises why we need boundaries...
"Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously”
Soooo gooood right!!
The quote represents the #1 reason we need to hold healthy boundaries in the workplace. When you can lead with love, you can share the journey with others. When you lead with love we rise up together and we all win. The flip side is that you lead with fear, where you are, inevitably, left to face it alone.
The #2 reason for boundaries is for longevity. If you're going to avoid burnout and enjoy a long and happy leadership career you have to have boundaries. You can't say yes to everything, all the time, and expect that it won't have an impact on your wellbeing. It's ok to say "no" or "not now" as long as it's done with good intention.
And the #3 reason for boundaries is for leadership. When you can hold healthy boundaries you show that it's possible to still engage in meaningful relationships and be effective in your role and life more broadly. When this happens, you give permission for others to do the same - this is the ultimate differentiator from one leader to the next.
If you're feeling resentful towards someone or something then it's likely you're not managing your boundaries as well as you could. Perhaps now is the time to reflect on what you want for YOU and how you might make it happen.
Need help with boundaries? Schedule a time to chat with me here.
Stay awesome
S. 😁
P.S. when you're holding your boundaries, it should never intentionally cause pain to others or cause you to armour up and lose your compassion. An example of holding your boundaries without doing harm might sound something like this: "I'm okay with you having different ideas to me, what I'm not okay with, is you mocking and dismissing the ideas that I share".
