Today I'll focus on disagreeing with someone in a power position, but the advice applies to any relationship or disagreement. And if done correctly, you can disagree while finding productive solutions and bringing people closer rather than creating further distance.

Harvard Business Review recently covered how to disagree with your boss. They point to Joseph Grenny, coauthor of Crucial Conversations. When asked about why he thinks people shy away from speaking up to a superior when they disagree, Grenny said:

"Our bodies specialize in survival, so we have a natural bias to avoid situations that might harm us."

I could not agree more. This is the "Flight or Fight" response, which is a big part of the behavioral and psychological research that Approachable Leadership is founded on (stay tuned for the upcoming release of The Approachable Leadership Playbook, where we dive into this idea even further).

As leaders, we have a responsibility to reduce the negative feelings our employees may have if they disagree with us. How can we do that?

1. Invite opposing ideas. Ask for pushback. Leaders must make decisions, but as you and I both know, sometimes we just don't know. We have to go with our gut or our best guess. When you find that you don't feel strongly one way or another, open the floor for people to throw out some other ideas. The more you do this, the more you take away the stigma associated with disagreeing with the boss.
   
2. Ask to be convinced. I do this one often. I'll have my mind made up. I think I know what the right decision is, and then one brave employee speaks up. Even if their initial suggestion doesn't move me much, I ask them to go into further detail – "Change my mind," I'll say. And you know what? Often, they do. To be a good leader you must want someone else's idea to be the right idea. For many, this can be a challenge.

What about the flip side? Even bosses have bosses. And, let's be honest, not all bosses receive opposing viewpoints well. So for those of you who don't want to let someone else's issue hold you back from truly investing in your organization and speaking your mind, here are 9 tips to disagree with your boss in a way that most allows your position to be heard (courtesy of HBR)...