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[New Post] 5 Words to Change to Achieve More in Leadership and Life
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Small things make a big difference in what you achieve.
I recently read an article about Walt Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab. When he interviews someone he takes them to breakfast and asks the wait staff to get the order wrong on purpose. Then he watches the candidate react. Bettinger knows you can learn a lot about someone's leadership by observing them talk to people in lower power positions. Are they respectful and courteous? Or are they short and talk down to them? Do they say "please" and "thank you"?
This idea is similar to the one behind The Achievement Habit, a book by Professor Bernard Roth, academic director and cofounder of Stanford University's d.school. In his book, Roth discusses "how swapping simple words and phrases we are used to saying multiple times a day can reprogram the way we think about and view perceived obstacles that stand in the way of personal success."
Changing the way we say things changes our behavior. This changes our lives. It's pretty compelling. And I think it's an appropriate concept to apply to leadership and your life.
Here are 5 of the top words and phrases Roth recommends we swap out to get past the mental roadblocks that our everyday word choices create.
- Use "and" instead of "but": Roth states "We often use 'but' in place of 'and'...This substitution is so common that it sounds correct. Unfortunately it often has the effect of changing a neutral statement into a negative one." The idea here is that we often place "but" in between two truths. For example, "I want to go to the store, but I don't like driving at night." The second statement becomes an excuse. It creates conflict and places limitations on what is possible. If you replace "but" with "and" you are more likely to see possibility and search for solutions.
- Say "want to" instead of "have to": Using the words "has/have to" implies that a situation has been forced upon us instead of "willingly chosen by us" – something that is almost always a misconception. Here's an example from my own life. I often say "I 'have' to work out." But that's not true. If instead I say I 'want' to work out I am much more likely to do it. A corollary to that point: If I decide to skip my workout I should say "I chose to skip the gym" which requires more ownership than "I couldn't get to the gym."
- Use "won't" instead of "can't": Most of the time when someone says they 'can't' do something, it actually means they 'won't' learn how. Roth writes "The simple change of 'can't' to 'won't' is often empowering...'Can't' implies helplessness; 'won't' signifies volition and choice." The other brilliant thing about this simple change is that it forces us to be explicit about these choices that we make many times each day....
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Check out our new book! The Approachability Playbook: 3 Essential Habits for Thriving Leaders and Teams |
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