Friend,
Being a parent is hard.
There's no manual and there's no perfect 'one way' to do it.
It's literally on the job training and kids will throw you curveballs you never imagined having to swing at.
I've been a dad now for 18 years and I'm finally realizing I've made a huge mistake for most of those years.
This lesson is crucial for parents but it also carries with it profound impact for anyone who's serious about creating a better life too.
My Big Character Flaw
I love freedom and I hate telling people what to do.
When I was working in a call center and had tryannical bosses, I couldn't stand being micro managed and placed in a tightly constrained box.
My body was working in a cubicle but my soul felt like it was in a box too.
I think, this is why, deep down inside, I yearned to break free and fly.
When I was finally released from my cage, I never wanted to be in one again, and I think, for this reason, I also never wanted to put anyone else in a cage either.
Then I became a dad.
Kids would misbehave and now it was supposed to be my job to correct them, punish them and manage their behavior.
I've been terrible at this.
My dad left when I was 8. My mom was hearing impaired and as a result, I had a TON of freedom as a kid.
I really had no idea of what 'discipline' looked like.
Was I supposed to spank my kids?
(never felt good about that btw)
Send them to their rooms?
Was I supposed to tell them what time to wake up and what time to go to bed? (apparently, yes, but again - This was no fun at all for me.)
Was I supposed to force them to work, clean up rooms, help in the yard, etc?
Many times, over the years, it felt like the argument they'd give me was too much and that it was just easier to do stuff myself.
And so often, that's what I'd do.
I'd take out the trash, mow the yard, rake the leaves, etc. and leave my kids alone with their 'freedom'.
One of the reasons I never wanted to own a traditional business is because I didn't want employees.
Planning and being responsible for your own day is hard enough, I couldn't stand the thought of having to do it for other people too.
Despite my failings in this area, my kids are pretty good boys.
That being said, I started to notice some things that I couldn't stand.
Sleeping until 11:30, 12:30 and sometimes, even 1:30 in the day.
Watching them wake up in the morning, stare at their phones for what seemed to me to be, long periods of time without doing ANYTHING productive.
I hated some of what I was seeing and I suddenly realized, it was my fault.
I had not been hard enough in some areas, and as a result, both my kids and I were suffering for this mistake.
Something had to be done.
So... some time ago, I began to lay down the law.
"Boys, you WILL be out of bed by 9:00 AM every weekday during the summer."
"You will set an alarm clock and learn to get yourselves out of bed."
"For every 15 minutes you sleep past the 9:00 AM Deadline, I will take away an hour of phone time for the day."
Did they complain?
Yes.
Did they whine?
Yes.
But I stuck to my guns.
And guess what, they've been getting out of bed at 9:00 AM consistantly now.
Not only that, but they've been hitting the gym and reading in the morning which has led to much more productive days for them.
The transformation I've seen in a short period of time seems like a bit of a miracle to me.
I also laid out the same law on their nightly curfew that carries the same punishment.
Every 15 minutes you're late = an hour loss of phone the next day.
Guess what?
Home right on time, every night - and if by chance they are going to be late or need an extended curfew, they are on the phone with me taking it very seriously.
So what exactly was the biggest mistake I made as a parent?
I didn't give my kids clear, consistent consequences for violating the actions they should be taking in their lives.
Once they percieved that the consequences were clear and consistent, their behavior changed.
As much as I love freedom, I've had to remind myself that there is no freedom without responsibility, and it's absolutely my job as a dad, to teach my kids the importance of responsibility.
They can't see what I can see, so I have to help them see, as much as it might be uncomfortable or 'inconvenient' to me.
And what does this have to do with business & creating a better life?
I think that so many people are not present to the consequences of not taking action and doing all they can do to create success and abundance in their lives.
As a result, slacking on the
Feels like a much preferable option than putting in all that work.
Problem is, the consequences of those decisions will come, with some time.
Like Jim Rohn Said...
"The pain of discpline weighs ounces and the pain of regret weighs tons."
So part of the secret, for both kids and adults, is to become clear and present to the consequences of our daily actions.
Once we realize that the price to be paid in the future is more painful than the one to be paid today, the price we pay today begins to feel like a bargain and we do the work.
Anyway, I just wanted to send this out as food for thought in the hopes it might be beneficial to other parents and entrepreneurs out there.
Thanks for reading and hope you make it an awesome and amazing day!
Paul
