Because there is so much research that has been done to support what I have experienced throughout our parenting journey.

Actually…

It’s really interesting starting the process again after so long because I see things much more easily than before. And when I am out talking to the neighbours who have kids in-between my kids ages, I can see the tell-tale developmental signs too.

Now, I know you don’t just want me to rave on about what we all know. So, I want to propose a strategy for you to manage the ‘resistance.’ ;-)

Something I learned over the many years is:

“How you ask determines the answer you will get.”

Now, do I get it right every time? Heck no!

But when I am making the effort to think about it strategically beforehand, I do mostly get the response I want.

Here’s an example:

I can sometimes hear Corey needs to blow his nose. And I used to say to him, “can you stop sniffing!” Or, “can you please blow your nose!” (Usually with the sound of exasperation in my voice of course.)

This would be received with one of the many reactions we already discussed and we would both just get more annoyed.

Then one day I tried a different approach.

I changed the way I said it.

Now, I keep my voice as kind or ‘indifferent’ as possible and I say:

“Hey Corey, can you please blow your nose mate?”

And guess what…it works!

So, if you keep getting a negative reaction from a particular request, consider the words you are using and the tone of your request, adjust them, and let me know if it changes anything. I’m betting you’ll be pleasantly surprised.