Hey, Friend!
On September 18, 2021, I began to have nightly panic attacks 😱 – an odd thing to recall the precise date.
Then again, it marked a significant departure from the inner peace I had been enjoying for many years, making it a stand-out shitty experience.
At first, I found it very odd to find myself back in that familiar state: racing heart, shortness of breath, a fear I might die.
It was a phenomenon I believed I had left behind me for good, especially after discovering the "3 Principles."
But there I was ...
For many months, I stayed calm and leaned into the feeling, recognizing it as passing energy and knowing I was deeply okay.
But at some point, I can't pinpoint when it began to trouble me – the panic became increasingly uncomfortable, making it difficult to fall asleep.
When I was home alone, I'd worry about having a heart attack in the middle of the night, fearing no one would find me until morning.
(My worry became so severe that at some point I even had to go to the hospital!)
During the day, I felt pretty amazing.
In fact in daylight, the irrational nightly fears seemed absurd, because I take excellent care of myself –
I eat healthily, exercise regularly, have low stress, and get tons of sleep.
However, at night, my worst-case scenarios felt incredibly real, logical, and likely.
Thank goodness for my understanding and a deeper knowing that assured me everything would resolve itself eventually.
I just didn’t know how or when.
As it happened, I endured a year and nine months of recurring panic, fear, and accumulated stress before I finally found the quietude within to seek an answer.
Then, one night, ...
in a state of oncoming panic and attempting to unravel the subconscious thoughts triggering me, a sense of serene surrender washed over me.
I was given the grace to quiet my mind and I heard myself ask, ...
“What will help me?”
Out of nowhere, I heard the answer, "Swim."
