Once upon a time, there was a young girl name Goldilocks who decided
to go explore the Enchanted Supplement Forest...(stay with me here)...

One day she was wandering through the woods and got herself hopelessly lost!

There was bright, shiny packaging as far as the eye could see but no
way out...and the easy-listening rendition of the "Girl From Ipanema"
was starting to drive her right to the edge.

She wandered for hours and hours amongst the aisles of supplements,
unable to find her way out...or a good protein bar to tide her over
til dinner.

Suddenly, from behind a display tree, a pale skinny ogre with a big green
name tag popped out gurgled "Can I help you find anything, miss? We have
a 5% off sale on Super Mega Mass 5000 today..."

Goldilocks shrieked and ran away as fast as she could, hiding in a thicket of
muscle magazines.

Finally, the ogre gave up the chase and moved towards another victim wandering
aimlessly amongst the creatine...

Goldilocks looked around...she had never seen this part of the Enchanted Supplement
Forest before. There was some strange stuff here...protein bars the likes of which
she had never seen before.

Ravenous, she grabbed for the nearest bar and looked at the ingredients.

Soy Protein Isolate...ugg. This bar was too genetically modified. No good. She
put it back and picked up another bar.

High Fructose Corn Syrup...blech. This bar was too blood-sugar-crushing.
She held it in two fingers like a dead fish and tossed back on the shelf.

Next bar...32 grams of sugar alcohol...yikes. This bar was too bowel-clenching.

Throwing her hands up in exasperation she tried one last bar...Fractionated
Palm Kernel Oil... ARGH! The Enchanted Supplement Forest was full of poison!

"Pssst..."

She turned her head...where did that come from?

"Pssst..."

She looked the other way...still no luck.

"PSSST...up here."

She looked up. And there poking his head out from one of ceiling tiles was a
knight in shining armor.

He said "My name is Dale and I can help you."

"How can you help me? I've looked through all the protein bars here...this one
is too GMO. This one is too corn syrupy. This one is too...gastrically-disturbing...
so how can you help me? I'm SOOO hungry I could almost eat my shoe...not
one of these horrible bars, though."

"Goldilocks," he said. "Here. This bar is just right..."

Then he passed her down a raw foot protein bar in a shining silver magical
package...."mmmmm...chocolate almond coconut" she said as she tore open
the wrapper and ate the preservative-free bar in three bites.

"That was awesome!" she said. "Where can I get more?"

Dale looked around to make sure the ogre was still gone and whispered...
"You're in luck. I've got a 'buy one, get one free' sale going on right now...
but only until the stroke of midnight tonight! Then you'll turn into a pumpk...
wait, no, nevermind. That was the other girl."

He continued on..."Get to your computer and go to www.RawFoodProteinBars.com
and select your boxes of bars...it won't work on combo packs or bundle offers so
choose wisely, young girl".

He peered to the left and to the right..."This is the most important part...on
the checkout page, select 2 or 4 in the quantity and hit recalculate. You
can get 2 boxes of free bars for each flavor your want...but know this...If you
put in 1, 3, 5 or more, you shall turn into a statue and be forever trapped inside
the Enchanted Supplement Forest...and a witch will eat you..."

Dale tossed her a blueberry macadamia bar, eyes darting behind her..."Take this
and go! The ogre is coming! Fly, you fool!"

Goldilocks turned and ran for her life...she ran all the way home and ran to her
computer and went right to www.RawFoodProteinBars.com.

She ordered 2 boxes of chocolate almond coconut, 2 boxes of key lime quinoa, and
4 boxes of blueberry macadamia bars.

Then she hit "recalculate", got her free bars and lived happily ever after...

The End

---------------------

Wow, do I need to get some sleep...

So yeah, bottom line, Dale still has his EXCELLENT "buy one, get one free" sale
going until midnight tonight. Follow the instructions in the story (or click the BOGO
graphic on the right-hand side of his page to get more details) and get yourself some
bars!

I'm going to order myself up a bunch right now...and no, they don't contain
hallucinogens. I'm just naturally insane.

www.RawFoodProteinBars.com

Nick

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