Friend,

Does this sound familiar?

“You think your day was tough? I dealt with thirty customers before lunch!”

It’s easy to get sucked into “The Martyr’s Contest,” where your problems are worse than everybody else’s. And if you’re not careful, it can creep into your home.

Alicia Howe writes: “At day’s end when workplace frustrations are fresh and domestic tasks are looming, the setting is ripe…Spouses who desperately need each other to recognize their efforts, battle it out for the title of hardest-working person…We have a fundamental need for recognition from our spouses, and if we don’t get it, we devise strategies to evoke it.”

The problem is, when we compare ourselves we can damage our relationship. Read that again!

So with that in mind:

(1) Be alert for unspoken pleas for encouragement. When your mate expresses frustration, don’t counter with one-upmanship.

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. What your mate needs is assurance that they can handle the problem. They need you to hear them, hear their heart in that moment!

(2) Express appreciation often. Envision your mate wearing a sign that says, ‘Appreciate me!’ The fact that society is inclined to assign gender-specific roles doesn’t give you the right to take your partner for granted.

(3) Reinforce your spouse’s efforts to help. Don’t criticize the way they fold laundry or rake the yard, or cook or wash the dishes or clean the bathroom. When you do, you guarantee they won’t try to do it again.

Think of a four-pronged fork:

(a) Be respectful of one another’s work.

(b) Recognize that while your jobs are different, they can both be difficult.

(c) Be sensitive, and flexible enough to help when it’s not ‘your job’ or ‘your turn.’

(d) Outlaw the complaint, “I’m tired.” It’s counter-productive, and chances are you are both tired of hearing it!

I hope you got something out of the words of wisdom I just shared.

If you available later, I would be honored if you would be my guest on a webinar I think you may like.

Click Here to get in with your special invitation link.

I look forward to seeing you later.

Ashield

217.215.4387