Subject: Saber-Toothed Tigers and Stage Fright...

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Hey there Friend,

There must be something in the air... some consciousness working itself around. Within the past week I've received in my inbox an article about making mistakes and how doing so can help you improve. On the other hand, I also received a link to a video discussing the topic of overcoming stage fright - which is directly related to being afraid to make mistakes in front of people. Coincidence? Hmm, maybe, or maybe the teacher has arrived now that the student is ready?

I do think there is a correlation between being willing to make mistakes for the sake of improvement and overcoming stage fright.

"Stage fright" is the feeling of anxiety that rises up as soon as you even think of stepping outside of your comfort zone. It can shut down any plan faster than the government spends our tax money, and it isn't limited to just performing on stage. We can experience stage fright in many different scenarios.

I think we all have some level of fear when it comes to putting ourselves out there in a position where we have some exposure. Introducing yourself to someone new, taking a new job, moving to a new city or playing your guitar for someone other than yourself. Doing something new involves a level of risk that many people aren't willing to take because of a mindset that says we shouldn't make mistakes - mistakes are bad.

Perhaps it's something that has carried on since our caveman days, where mistakes got you killed. Grok saw the result of Org and Kla trying to take an antelope leg away from a saber-toothed tiger - Kla became second breakfast for the tiger! No more Kla, and Grok sad - with a healthy dose of respect for the tiger. So Grok decides taking meat from a tiger maybe isn't such a good idea, and "Grok not going to try that any time soon!"

Mistakes today can still kill you (see Darwin Awards), but compared to the days when other organisms wanted to eat us, mistakes made now don't typically have terminal results. And yet we still have that instinctual fear. You can have stage fright in front of as few as one other person - in fact, you might even intimidate yourself! Have you ever felt insecure just singing in the shower? Maybe not - maybe you don't sing in the shower for that reason alone.

When a child is learning to walk, there is the same level of risk associated with taking that first step as there is with you or I doing something for the first time, like giving a performance for an audience. We have an unknown in front of us (will we mess up?) and we're not sure that we're prepared to put ourselves in a position where we could fail. The difference between a child learning to walk and the rest of us is they haven't been programmed to fear failure.

A toddler can be carried onto stage without feeling stage fright. Why? They don't know they're supposed to be intimidated by all those people in the audience staring at them. As long as they feel safe with the person carrying them, there is no fear of being on stage.

It doesn't matter what we endeavor to do in life. Every action we take incurs a bit of risk. We only truly grow when we push past our fears and take that risk. Mistakes are a natural part of learning. You need to reach a point where you decide which is more important to you - becoming the musician you know you were born to be, or giving in to the fear that keeps you from stepping out and taking that risk  - putting yourself out there. If you don't take a chance, you will never know.

Maybe our job is to recognize that the people in the audience are there to experience something they themselves cannot (or afraid to) do. We're doing them a service by being on stage and entertaining them because they would be too uncomfortable to do it. If we take the focus off our fear and direct it towards giving the audience a good performance, everyone wins.

It's interesting to me that every person perceives the inherent risks differently, and at different levels throughout their lives. When we're younger, we are much more apt to try new things out. We haven't had as long in our lives to get set in our ways. I'm sure you've hear the analogy about concrete - you can make wet concrete into pretty much anything you want, but as soon as it sets up, it will take a jackhammer to change it. We as humans aren't quite so rigid, but we sure can act like it sometimes!

We shouldn't get too comfortable in our age, though. As we get older, I believe we need to hold on to some of the "hard-charging, what's the worst that could happen?" attitudes of youth. We can temper it with wisdom and experience (so we don't make the same mistakes over and over again), but people need to continue to grow and take new risks, regardless of age. It helps to keep us young!

For example, when I joined my first band at the age of fifteen, I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about nerves or being on stage. Sure, I knew I would eventually end up on a stage as a result of being in the band. And when my band played its first gig, I did freeze on the first song. Fortunately, no one outside the band took any notice. But once I pushed past that experience, I was in good shape. I never froze up in a performance again. I can't say I never had stage fright again, but it didn't rule my behavior.

More recently, I resisted going to a jam session after work with a co-worker because I had not played with a band in decades. I had all the excuses - what if they think I suck, what if they don't like me, what if I don't know any of the songs they play, what if I don't fit in? When I finally decided to just hold my breath and jump in, it turns out most of my fears were all in my head. The guys were cool, they were just there to have fun, so making mistakes while we played was just part of the fun.

I held back from teaching for quite some time for many of the same reasons. It was only after the realization that even though I'm not the best guitar player out there, I can still help a new beginner figure out how to play chords so they can learn their favorite songs. I can show them how to improve their technique to be more efficient. I can prepare them to take the next step if they want to expand their abilities. And frankly, once I realized that "Hey, I just know a bit more than they do and I can help them learn what I know," I stopped worrying about not being "good enough." And it's been great!

Because I've stepped out of my comfort zone and am willing to make mistakes (and admit it when I do), I'm learning a great deal as a result. That action is helping me become a better teacher and giving me confidence to take other steps into the unknown.

We can get past our fear of making mistakes. We can take advantage of opportunities to break out of our limiting mindsets and behaviors, and I believe we should do so as often as possible. All it takes is a willingness to just give it a try (whatever "it" is). I challenge you to be open to taking some new risks - things that you think you'd like to do but make you uncomfortable and bring on that feeling of stage fright. Making mistakes can actually turn out to be fun in the end! Just watch out for saber-toothed tigers!

Peace~

Dave

Dave "Eddie" Vance is a rock guitar enthusiast and gear nut. He has been playing guitar for over 30 years and enjoys tormenting the neighbors every chance he gets. When he's not slaving for the man, you can find him rocking out with his B.C. Rich Bich guitar, a cold beer and some sweet tunes.

He also runs Learn-To-Play-Rock-Guitar.com, but you knew that already!

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