Hi Friend,

My husband bought a Lexus last year when his car started costing more than it was worth. Of course, the timing was horrible. It always is when you’re not expecting to make a major purchase. He did a lot of research in a short amount of time and found a car previously owned by someone who clearly loved this vehicle. It had low-ish mileage, and the price was better than anything else he’d looked at.

He keeps this car so clean that it looks like it just rolled off the lot. It makes me happy to see how happy it makes him.

And then I drove it into a boulder. I’m shaking my head even as I write this three weeks later. I’m still stunned by the enormity of this accident. There was no reason for me to be anywhere near this gigantic rock used as a part of the landscaping of his company parking lot. It was on the opposite side of the entryway. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

What I know for sure is that like most women, I tend to take on more than I should. I could give you a laundry list of things I do daily that I’ve tasked myself with getting done. Like making my bed, feeding the dog, walking the dog, making my husband’s protein shake, food shopping, cooking my dog’s food, running a business, laundry, yardwork, cleaning, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

I’m not complaining. Just busy. I like the choices I’ve made for my life. But my selfcare tends to go out the window when I’m overscheduled and too stubborn to reduce the to-do list. I eat too much chocolate (Hu Organics, chocolate covered date turtles, Aloha mint chocolate protein bars) and stay up too late. I use the chocolate to push through the tiredness. This is not a good plan for me.

I knew I was going to pay the piper, but I couldn’t get off the crazy train. I didn’t realize my mistake would be at someone else’s expense.

We both took some time to process what happened. I allowed myself to feel angry, sad, hurt, guilty and all the other heavy emotions that come from doing something that never should have happened. I guess that’s why they call it an accident.

But that’s not the interesting part of this story.

Two days later I was with my friend Jess going to an artisan fair. She asked if I minded stopping to pick up a pizza for her husband who was working nearby. I didn’t mind. She parked the car, went into the pizza joint and came out empty handed.

“Not ready?” I asked. She looks at me and says, “I didn’t order it from here.”

“Where’d you order it from?”

“I don’t know. I need to check my phone and see,” she says.

Then she says, “Franklin.”

“Mass? Really?” I ask. “That’s nowhere near here.”

We were on Cape Cod.

She orders a new pizza from the place we’re at, calls the folks in Franklin to explain the mistake, and we go about our day.

And then it hits me. My friend is a very capable, hardworking, productive woman. She ordered a pizza from over 100 miles away because she was moving at the speed of light and needed to check it off her list.

The problem isn’t the boulder or the pizza. It’s that we all think there’s something wrong with us. We’re spacey, forgetful, can’t remember where we left the keys.

Ladies, there’s nothing wrong with us. We’re just too busy and too tired to notice or even slow down.

If your life feels out of control, know this: You are not alone. We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes forget that adding even little things to our daily routine adds up over time.

If this story struck a chord (or a boulder!) with you, please share it with someone you know. Maybe it will help her feel like she’s not failing at life. She’s just too busy.

Wishing you everything your heart desires,

Dr. Kat