| I hope you're well and continuing to thrive during such interesting and challenging times. In case you missed me, I took the summer off. It wasn't something I had planned to do—it just kind of happened. Life can be interesting like that.
I felt a little guilty about not writing and then worried you wouldn't be there when I returned. Hence the topic.
Guilt and worry often keep each other company in my head. So many times throughout the day I catch myself feeling one or the other or both of these emotions. Did I do enough? Have I hurt someone’s feelings? When is this pandemic going to end? Are we going to run out of... (fill in the blank, there are too many things to list). And my latest - Am I going to finish my 25 page dissertation on time or will I miss the opportunity to complete my studies? That one weighs heavily on me.
I realize I can often hide behind false confidence and push these emotions aside, only to have them reappear at a later time. Sometimes even catching me by surprise with their ferocity.
What I’m learning is I can move beyond worry and guilt only when I acknowledge their presence. Make amends (which I learned recently actually means to “amend” my behavior and not just say I’m sorry) to those I’ve hurt and to keep my faith out in front of me where uncertainty of the future is concerned.
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