Dear J****

How to proceed depends largely on why you want them to call you Grandma.

If you want them to call you Grandma because they love you and feel you are their grandma, then the best you can do is tell them you'd like them to call you Grandma and then leave it be and let them make the decision in their own time. Know that it's possible they will never call you grandma, not because they don't like you, but because they may never get to that place.

If you feel strongly about it, you can also ask your husband to speak with his kids. Perhaps if they know it's important to you and that you view the moniker Grandma as a sign of affection and acceptance, they'll get on board.

The truth is, you might be able to force the moniker, but you can't force the emotion that comes with it. It's possible you'll have to accept other signs that they like and accept you, such as spending time with you, and sharing details of their lives with you.

-- Mother Renard

J***

If you only want them to call you Grandma because you deserve the title as their grandpa's wife, their feelings toward you be damned, then carrying around an air horn during visits and blowing it whenever they call you Ms. J*** and following it up with "Please call me Grandma" or "It's MRS. J***" will certainly get the point across.

-- Peasblossom