| Erica has a problem... it has been a long standing problem that she feels powerless to change.
She has been in a dead-end job where she is completely underappreciated. She knows she needs to look for a better job because she is very qualified, however, she is afraid. She thinks "What if I can't find something else? What if I leave and it's not any better and I lose my seniority?". And, she tells herself... "It's not that bad really". Her fears keep her stuck in her undesirable situation.
Monica knows exactly what Erica should do and she never lets an opportunity go by to tell her so. Every time the topic comes up, Monica is ready with the solution and tells Erica exactly what she needs to do, frustrated that she has not yet acted on her great guidance.
Erica feels frustrated and not at all understood by Monica :-( She feels ashamed that she hasn't taken the 'right' steps yet and by now, feels less and less like sharing her feelings with Monica.
Sue also knows exactly what Erica should do however, she understands the fundamental truth; there are lessons built into this experience of being undervalued, and until Erica feels, in her heart, that she deserves more, nothing much will change. Sue understands that, as humans, our solutions are always worked through a complex set of conditions (our fears, beliefs, needs, life experiences, desires, etc.) all of which play into what actions we ultimately choose to take. She realizes that, her external observation and opinion about how and what Erica should do, is therefore based on limited data only.
Because of this, she listens with an open heart letting Erica feel that she is safe to talk and explore what she feels. Sue lets Erica know that she supports whatever decision she makes because she understands this is a lesson she must process through. She discusses some options for Erica and asks her powerful questions that may open her mind to possibilities, all the while, reassuring her that she loves her and wants the best for her. She is free to be in this delicate space of wanting more for Erica while accepting that in order for that to take place Erica has to want it for herself.
Erica feels loved and understood by Sue. She feels blessed to have such an understanding and reassuring friend to confide in during this frustrating lesson. She feels stronger and more confident after every conversation with Sue.
"Unless you have walked in someones shoes for a day, you have not earned the right to tell them what they should do" - ME
EGO is the only part that is attached to someone doing what you THINK they should do. The soul/heart is only concerned with loving and creating a space where another feels free to express what they feel without fear of judgement.
From the outside, where emotions are not attached to a decision, WHAT to do appears an easier decision. The truth however, is that the many components leading to a decision are very personal and are directly related to the lessons being worked out through those decisions.
Therein lies YOUR lesson, to be a space of love rather than having to be right.
Be like Sue!
Love and
blessings!
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