#GivingTuesday: Restoring Hope in the Hurting Home
As
I take a moment to reflect on this year, I am both overwhelmed and
incredibly grateful. As you might know, my wife Sherry and I traveled to
China this August to adopt two beautiful children; a boy and a girl. To
be honest, I was scared to death!
It was our plan to bring
home a girl from China, but this time last year God laid it upon our
hearts to also review the file of a little boy who had a serious heart
issue. As I read this little guy's file and looked at his photos, he had
a sullen look about him.
He wasn't thriving. His fingers and
lips were blue (not pink) because of the lack of oxygen flowing into and
out of his heart. To make matters worse, he had already been reviewed
by at least two other families and rejected because of the seriousness
of his medical condition.
"Is his heart even operable? Will he live?" As tears rolled down my cheeks, I prayed to God. "Who is going to adopt this boy?"
"YOU!" God answered back.
(By
the way, I can't tell you how many times I listened to Matthew West's
song "Do Something" this year for inspiration...if you haven't heard it, it was my theme for 2015. Click here to listen)
So
in obedience, we pressed into God's plan and went forward with both
adoptions. Let me be clear: nothing about this decision made rational
sense to me. So many questions went through my head for months before departing for China.
"What if
his heart isn't operable? What if we lose him after he comes home...can I
handle that? What if I can't give my other three biological children
AND our adopted daughter enough attention? Am I a good enough father?
Can I handle this?"
The answer is no.
I'm not good enough. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough
wisdom. I don't have enough patience. I don't have enough energy. In short, I'm in way over my head! But
for some reason, I find comfort admitting this, because that's when I
realize God is in control, and His plan and will surpasses all of my
limitations.
Two
weeks ago, our adopted son went through a grueling eight-hour surgery to
repair his little heart. We were in and out of the hospital for a week
as he recovered, juggling our four other kids, jobs, and
responsibilities. It was exhausting, physically and emotionally. But I
am so grateful to report that our son is now home after a successful
surgery, and he looks great!
As I look back on all of this, it's
amazing that in every detail, God directed our steps. I didn't have to
do anything but be obedient and listen to His voice directing us. God
was doing something through me, and all I had to do was get on board and
be a part of His plan.
I came to the realization that
these adoptions were not about me "doing something good for these kids,"
but rather, God working and sanctifying me through these precious
children. I finally got it! That's the whole point, and that's the beauty in God's plan for family.
It's not about our happiness. It's not about getting what we want. It's
about realizing God's will and sanctifying plan for us, as fathers and
mothers, sons and daughters.
That is why I am so passionate about the Institute for Healthy Families
and the bold new vision God has given me. God wants parents, children,
and our families to be whole. His hope is for our homes to be restored.
It's not about changing anyone. It's about realizing who we are in Him
and stepping into His plan for our lives and our families. It's about
walking in each other's shoes and helping one another become the best
versions of ourselves. It's about compassion. It's about unconditional
love.
As
I take a moment to pause this Thanksgiving season, I want to thank you
from the bottom of my heart for your ongoing support. We would be so
blessed if you would make a tax-deductible contribution on this #GivingTuesday to support our mission of restoring hope in the hurting home.
Christopher Doyle, MA, LPC, LCPC
Executive Director
Institute for Healthy Families
www.InstituteforHealthyFamilies.org
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