When you face any choice, you almost always have something inside you that leans towards the one option.
It might not be a strong feeling but it is there. A preference of some kind about which option you think you would like more.
It’s a kind of ‘knowing’ about what will be more enjoyable, or better for you in the long run.
This feeling is actually a built-in mechanism we each have that exists to make sure your biological organism thrives.
As you ponder the options, your system sifts through the data it receives from your senses, analyses it and then shows you which option is most likely to lead to your unique organism’s optimal thriving.
The way it shows you, is by giving you a positive or negative feeling about each option. It might be an emotion, thought or physical sensation.
Examples of positive emotions would be experiencing excitement, relief or joy when you consider that option. Positive physical signs are a sudden relaxing in your chest area, spontaneous in-breath, shoulders and muscles softening.
In essence, these are the sensations you experience when your amygdala and autonomic nervous system giving you the all-clear.
In short, it feels good.
Conversely, negative emotions indicate your amygdala is sensing danger to your system and sending out alarms.
Examples are things like feeling depressed at the thought of that option, resistance, anger, anxiety. Negative physical signs are your chest tightening, shoulders hunching, jaw clenching… Essentially, all the sensations you would associate with unhappiness, fear and stress.
I call these your Yes and No feelings because they are literally your body and system telling you if that choice will serve you or not. Yes or No.
To say this differently, we tend to feel more drawn to whichever thing will meet our needs more.
Our system makes us prefer those things because the more our needs are met, the more our unique organism thrives.
The less our needs are met, the harder life becomes for us to manage, and our organism is less likely to survive that way.
When you turn towards your inner preference in a moment of choice, you are making sure your needs are met and increasing your organism’s chances of surviving and thriving.
When you turn away from it you are decreasing your organisms chances of surviving and optimally thriving.
So take a moment now to think about this.
At this time of your life, do you mostly turn towards or away from your optimal thriving?
If you loved yourself, what yes and no would you listen to in your life now?
