Everyone has preferences. We can’t help it. We simply prefer one thing over another.
I prefer to be spoken to with respect rather than with disrespect. I prefer being heard to being ignored. I prefer chocolate to vanilla. That’s just my preference.
You have preferences about almost everything in your life, and you have them in every relationship and interaction.
What you might not know, is that you naturally lean toward preferring things that will meet your mind and body’s needs.
Those things just feel better to you, so you choose them.
This is an important fact because it means that when you don’t listen to what you prefer, you are causing problems for your future self whose body and mind haven’t received what they needed.
It also means that your preferences are excellent guides to listen to in making your choices.
People who easily and clearly express their preferences tend to get their way in life.
Its really annoying isn't it?
Why does this work?
Because they say what they need, so their needs are more likely to be satisfied and their lives tend to be easier and happier.
Here’s the interesting thing.
When you don’t express your preferences, you might find yourself feeling bullied, not considered, unimportant, powerless ...
Life becomes hard because your needs are not met.
When you don’t say what you prefer in a situation, either out loud or with your actions, then you don’t set ‘healthy boundaries’.
When people seem to disrespect you or ignore your needs, it is sometimes simply because you have never clearly told them what you need in the first place.
(Sometimes you do clearly state what you need and they ignore you or override you – that’s a different story that we can address another time)
It’s not fair to expect people to know what you want if you don’t tell them.
You also need to remember that everyone is distracted by their own thoughts and feelings so, even if they mean well, they might not realise what you need unless you say it out loud.
You have to guide people in how to treat you.
Take a moment to ask yourself now, "How often do I acknowledge my own preferences and how often do I allow myself to express them in my interactions with others?
How is this affecting my life experience?"
If I loved myself, what preferences would I start to take more seriously now?
