We were sitting on the grass in a beautiful botanical garden.
It was a moment of peace and connection and my friend and I both felt like we were cells in this scene, as though we were simply part of nature, one with all of it.
It was a beautiful moment and it led to a conversation about trust.
In a moment like that, it feels safe to open into life, into your feelings, into trusting that you’ll be safe.
But then other thoughts come up, fears of things that might happen, people and things you might lose…
It’s actually very normal for us to feel sudden fear at times of joy and expansion.
It’s an unfortunate glitch in our design but when we feel happy and joyful and expanded, it make us feel vulnerable.
We get scared of losing the joy or being hurt- so we take it away from ourselves to protect ourselves!
Isn’t that crazy?
We’re scared to lose it, so we don’t let ourselves have it.
Brene Brown calls this foreboding joy.
The way to deal with it when it happens, is to lovingly reassure yourself that it’s safe to be open and joyful.
And try to allow yourself to lean into the happy feelings again.
Anyway, there we were in this beautiful garden, feeling at one with all of nature, and aware of the fears that pop up in response and we came to the conclusion that you cannot rely on the outside world for your safety.
The outside world can change at any moment.
Even nature is full of change, birth, death, violence and sudden ruptures.
You can only rely on your own inner reactions and resources for your safety.
HOW you respond to events is what makes you feel safe or unsafe.
If you don’t know that you’ll be there for yourself if things get hard, then you’ll always be afraid.
If you don’t KNOW that you’ll speak up in a situation that makes you feel bad…
That you’ll look after your body…
That you will get yourself out of danger…
That you’ll heal and repair and grieve after a loss…
That you’ll ask for help when you need it…
If you don’t have that trust in yourself, life becomes a very scary place.
The self love I teach…
This attitude and practice of listening to yourself,
paying attention to what you need…
Taking actions to meet your needs…
This is the greatest builder of trust.
Other people and the outer world are busy with their own processes, you cannot put your wellbeing in their hands.
You cannot trust them, not because they mean you harm, but because it’s not their job to be trustworthy to you.
It’s yours.
As you look at all the scary current world events and wonder who you can trust and how you can feel safe in this world, remember…
When you listen to yourself and do what you can to meet your needs…
You are building trust in yourself…
In the most important person in your life…
You.
And if you know that you will look after yourself and hold your own hand no matter what comes…
You can trust…
And you can feel safe.
Even in these times.
You are wonderful.
You have already gotten yourself through so much!
Trust in yourself.
If you loved yourself, how would you create more trust in yourself now?
