This might seem odd, but I find it needs to be said:
You don’t stop being a person while you’re at work. You remain a person with needs and preferences wherever you go.
We spend such a large part of our time at work, yet we often compartmentalize it:
There is Work and there is Me.
We say, “I can do this listening-to-myself-and-my-Truth, self-love stuff in my personal life, but at work I need to just get on with it. I have things to do. There are expectations of me. It’s not about me and my needs.
But it is about you and your needs. Self-love at work is the same as anywhere else.
At work—just like anywhere else—what will serve you best is whatever flows from your answers to the Love Question and variations like,
What do I need right now? How can I best love myself in this moment?
At work, most of us are wary of crossing lines because, at the most basic level, we risk losing our source of income but labor law activists fought hard to secure the rights of workers to have tea and lunch breaks and reasonable working hours. They did this to prevent abuse of workers’ time and energy.
This applies if you are self-employed too. You don't get to abuse yourself just because you are the boss!
Here's the bottom line:
Whether you’re an employee or a business owner, if your needs at work aren’t met, you won’t feel taken care of.
Ask yourself:
Do I take my tea breaks and eat a proper lunch at work?
Do I work reasonable hours?
Do I say yes when I long to say no?
Do I go to the toilet when I need to?
Do I make sure my needs are met?
Do I treat myself and my work with respect and speak out when I need to?
At work, there are many small moments where your own needs seem secondary to the workplace’s needs.
Have you ever stayed sitting on the uncomfortable chair, or delayed eating when you were really hungry, or remained at your computer even though your eyes were aching and your body felt stiff?
If you regularly override your needs at work, you’ll eventually feel unhappy and dissatisfied (this applies everywhere else too).
It’s really simple: if you don’t eat, listen to yourself, go to the toilet and rest when you need to and make sure you’re treated with respect, you won’t be OK.
Being unhappy at your workplace does not serve you, your colleagues or your employers—it’s in everyone’s best interest that you find out and pursue what does make you happy.
This may mean leaving your job, but more often it means learning to do things differently at your current job.
Self-love often comes down to small choices that make big differences to you moment by moment.
Always start with the small changes and choices—what unfolds from making truthful little changes can sometimes resolve the big problems in surprising ways.
Your level of need at the end of your work day shows whether your needs were met during the day.
Pay attention to how often you finish work feeling desperate to rest/ eat/ have time alone/ numb out with wine, video games or TV/ treat yourself to something you know isn’t good for you …
If you stay aware throughout the day of what feels right to you and make sure your needs are consistently met, you’ll feel fulfilled at work and happier in your life.
Imagine that.
If you loved yourself, how would you choose to meet your needs at work now?
