It's important to be aware of how the thoughts you are thinking make you feel.
Because your thinking can be an act of self-care or of self-harm.
Are you being self-caring with your thoughts at this time?
What do I even mean?
Some things you think about leave you feeling energised, open-hearted and hopeful and some leave you depleted, scared and depressed.
As you witness and experience life events and the media, you get to choose what sort of thoughts you want to nurture in your mind - the ones that bring you down or the ones that lift your spirit.
How do you choose your thoughts?
To begin to deliberately use your thoughts self-lovingly, you need to know what kind of thoughts you regularly have—and the way to know that is to observe them.
It takes practice to observe your thoughts, but when you do, you get to know your thought habits.
In meditation a typical suggestion is, “Let your thoughts float through your mind like clouds passing in the sky. Bigger ones, smaller ones, light ones, dark ones, funny ones, inspiring ones ... Simply notice them and let them pass.”
If you do this, you might notice that you have more dark thoughts than other kinds, for example, or that you often have thoughts that raise your anxiety.
The trick with thoughts, is not to engage them.
When you make eye contact and start talking to a thought, it can stick around—sometimes for a lifetime!
You see, if you engage with a thought, you’re assigning it importance. You’re holding on to it.
Let’s say you think, I hope I don’t mess up the presentation tomorrow.
If you’re attached to that thought, you may start to feel anxious and add other thoughts, like, If I mess it up, I won’t get that promotion.
Another option is to simply notice, I had that thought, and respond with, Yes, I hope I don’t mess it up. And let it go.
Not attaching to a thought is not the same as ignoring or avoiding it.
If you ignore or avoid something because you’re afraid of it, you actually make it more important.
Ironically, judging something to be bad and taking action to avoid it means you are attaching to the very thing you don’t want.
If a thought won’t leave or you return to it often (something like, I’m not as good as the others in the group/ I really hate my mother-in-law), it means you’re attached to it.
You judge it to be relevant and important—in a good or a bad way.
If you keep pulling it out and fiddling with it, it can’t drift away.
What does it look like not to be attached to, or afraid of, a thought?
You look at it, acknowledge its presence, and lovingly choose something else without judgement.
And because you’re not attached to it, it’s easy to let it go.
Your thoughts are a bit like a stray dog: shouting, beating it, and chasing it away usually ends up with it biting you or hanging around.
And you shouldn't treat dogs like that.
If you actively ignore it because you’re scared to look at it, it tends to rub up against your legs and steal your food.
If you don’t want it around, you have to see it compassionately and let it go.
Let it be and let it go.
It’s simple; if you give it food (attention), it sticks around. If you don’t, it leaves.
So, in this time, which thoughts are you making important and are
they helping you or hindering you?
If I loved myself, how would I choose to treat my unwanted thoughts now?
