There's something we tell ourselves when things don't go the way we want.

And it really doesn't help.

In fact, it makes things so much harder for us.

And that thing is...

"It's not supposed to be like this."

You're divorced

You're overweight

You haven't been promoted

You're still depressed

You don't like your job

You didn't speak up for yourself again

Your kids aren't great in school or sport

Your partner is disappointing

You still aren't looking after yourself well

Your life is not what you thought it would be

And you look at whatever it is and think,

"It's not supposed to be like this."

And right after you think it, bad feelings flood you and you want to cry, or eat, or give up.

It's damaging, this story.

That things should be anything other than how they are.

When you say it (even if you only whisper it quietly deep in your heart), you are essentially saying,

"I reject me. I reject my life. I cannot love this. I cannot love me."

Because really, think about it.

If you have a dear friend that you love, you don't stop loving them because they gain weight, or get divorced, or suck at their job, do you?

If you actually love them, that stuff doesn't matter to you at all.

It's just part of their life and what they are experiencing.

You love and support them through the hard things.

And when they say mean things about themselves, it hurts you to hear it because you love them and think they have value.

You tell them to stop putting their life down because they are fine as they are.

So why don't you do this with yourself?

It IS supposed to be however it is.

This is your life.

It is just fine like this.

Open your heart to it.

Even the yucky stuff has gifts to offer you.

But you can't see the gifts if you're too busy judging what is happening and trying to look away from it.

If you loved yourself like you love a dear friend, what would you say to yourself now about the things in your life that are not as you'd hoped they would be?