In relationships, it's important to remember that expectations are premeditated resentments.
What I mean by that is, if you just expect people to know what you need without having to tell them, you will probably be disappointed and maybe resent them for it - but it won’t be because they don’t care.
It’ll be because they don’t know what you need.
It’s essential for you to protect your relationships by expressing your preferences.
Be honest with your partner, your friends and your colleagues.
Tell them how you would prefer that they speak to you, act, do that thing, don’t do that thing…
You are helping them by doing so.
What do I mean?
If you need to say something and you don’t, it affects everyone negatively because it makes the interaction fake.
Whether someone likes what you prefer or not can’t be a deciding factor in your choice: you have to like it.
If the other person doesn’t like your opinions and preferences and you change yourself to please them, you’ll be pretending.
Pretending makes us feel anxious.
Presenting a façade so that someone will like you more, means you can’t relax and you will feel insecure around them.
Because you know what they like is not the real you.
You don't actually know if they would like the real you.
Its very stressful.
And anyway, how many people will thank you for pretending with them?
The only way to make sure your relationships are true and real, is to honour yourself and give yourself permission to be who you really are when you engage with them.
It is respectful to them as well.
Take a moment now to think if there’s anywhere in any of your relationships where you aren’t honouring your preferences because you’re afraid of the other person’s reaction.
What effect is this having in the relationship?
Are you ok with that?
When your needs are met, everything feels better and brighter—including your relationships.
So start to honour your preferences and let them guide your choices.
If you loved yourself, where would you give yourself permission to be more honest now?
