I want to share a wonderful email I received recently.

I have permission to share it - thank you to the author for saying yes.

I love it because her experience is SO relatable, it made me laugh out loud.

It's a real reminder that this self-loving decision-making is a moment by moment thing.

And also of how life feels so much more bearable when we do it by listening to our true inner guidance.

I'm sharing it because it can be so affirming and inspiring to hear about other people's brave moments of self-loving decision daring.

So here is her letter and my response to it. I hope you enjoy it and cheer her on as much as I did.

"Hi!

I just started reading your book and it has really helped me.

My whole life has been spent trying to gain others approval and doing what I thought they wanted. This started with my parents and has continued until now. (I didn't even realize I was doing it)

I was a teacher for 31 years. The last ten were bad enough, but my last year was the worse. I was treated like garbage by my administration, and basically my family just wanted me to retire so I would quit talking about it.

So the past year I have been doing a lot of self care and learning how to do what I want, what makes me feel good.

I have a stepdaughter, and that is a whole other story, but let's just say, it wasn't good, but has improved since she had a baby.

So my question is this:

I was sewing, or trying to sew a cow stuffed doll for her son.

He loves cows.

But it was a disaster from the get go.

I accidentally cut through the outline, I sewed the body together too soon, the needle broke, and last, I couldn't get the machine to sew correctly.

I stopped and asked the question, if I loved myself what would I do now.

I put the machine away, put the fabric away.

Took a long shower and pampered myself. 

I couldn't believe the relief I felt.

Is this how asking this Love Question works?

I don't know if I will ever feel like completing that project. But for now, it's staying put away.

Thanks for writing this book. It will help many people!!"

This was my (slightly edited) reply to her...

"I adore your cow story!!! Thank you for sharing it with me. 

Yes, that’s exactly how the Love Question works.

If it is ever self-loving to continue with the cow, then you will.

Otherwise it will remain in that cupboard as a symbol of your devoted self care. 

The relief of living this way is enormous.

And the truly remarkable thing is that - after sometimes an initial period of adjustment - your relationships get so much better and healthier.

It’s counter-intuitive but when you look after yourself better, it helps your loved ones too.

Who knew?!

I’m sorry life has been so tough but I suspect it will not feel like that anymore as you start to look after yourself. 

With delight

Eilat "

If you loved yourself, what would you allow yourself to stop doing now?