It all began with this little text message from my client ...
"Hi Eilat,
I had another appointment scheduled that I had forgotten about. It is at 12 in town. I tried to cancel but they are closed today.
I might be able to make it to our session on time tomorrow but IF it is possible to reschedule that would be great.
I am sorry for the nuisance."
Very often, my schedule is full and it's hard to change session times at the last minute but on this occasion I had an alternative open spot and offered it to her instead.
When we met, I said to her, "Well done for asking to move the session. I could hear it was uncomfortable for you to ask. I hope you have a whole year full of courageous actions that create a more comfortable and happy life for you."
She looked at me pleased, and then anxiety flitted across her face. "That sounds good but I don't know that I can be courageous all the time."
"I don't mean huge, dramatic actions" I responded, "I mean tiny little brave acts, like you deciding to ask if I could change our appointment time because it would make life easier for you. I wish you a year full of tiny, little courageous actions that create a life that feels good to you."
"Oh", she said, looking relieved, "That does sound good. Maybe I can do that with breaks."
I looked at her puzzled.
"What is it you want to take breaks from? Having an easier life? Being looked after exquisitely by someone who has your best interests at heart? Getting to live life in a way that feels best to you?"
She laughed a bit uncomfortably.
"You have a point" she said.
Today another client and I spoke about how to know when her self-care is becoming avoidance.
"When does the quiet time, or nap, or playing on my phone become avoidance rather than a gift to myself?" she wanted to know.
I replied, "It's the small moments where you listen to yourself that matter the most.
Those little turning points where the first chocolate is delicious and the second very good but the sixth feels bad.
Somewhere between those is a point at which you make a choice to love yourself and do something different."
At one point of our conversation I got all excited, as I tend to do, and I enthusiastically said."This is wonderful. You're learning how to live life!"
"It's a bit late to be doing that in my late 40s!", she shot back dryly.
"Do you know what a gift it is to learn it at any age at all?" I asked her incredulously.
"Most people NEVER find out that their tiny little moments of choice are literally creating their life. You are so lucky to be learning to do this now."
We have this story that our self-care and our choices have to be big and dramatic to change our lives.
But that's really untrue.
It's the moment you pick up the fourth slice of pizza, or the moment you decide to send the message, or the moment you say no to something that decides what your future experiences will be.
A choice is NEVER too small to matter.
Small choices are the building blocks of your day and therefore your week, month, year... your life.
May your week (year, life) be FULL of tiny, little courageous acts that create the life you long for.
It's completely possible.
Just take one, tiny, little brave step at a time.
If you loved yourself, what tiny, little brave act would you choose to do now?
