I had a realisation the other day.
It was profound for me, even though I also realised that I've already realised this thing many times before.
Isn't it funny how that happens?
You're amazed by this thing you've just thought and then you realise you've thought it before and it amazed you then too.
It always makes me laugh at myself.
But it's like a friend of mine says, "Every time the realisation goes deeper it feels new again."
Anyway, my realisation came (again) because I was letting myself dream about what I want for myself and how I want my life to be.
It felt so good to imagine it.
And then...
I realised...
Wait for it...
It's not going to surprise you at all but still, let's enjoy some suspense together...
Then...
I realised...
It's up to me.
The things I want will happen, if I allow myself to want them and start to take small steps towards them.
And if I don't let myself want them, and I don't turn myself in that direction and make my choices with my dreams in mind...
They will never happen.
My dreams will never come true.
It's totally up to me.
This realisation is startling (again) because we are so used to waiting for things to fall into place before we allow ourselves to go for what we want.
We wait for something to change...
For someone to take an action...
For when we have enough money, or time...
But if we wait for those external things to happen before we allow ourselves to move towards our dreams, then we are stuck.
And helpless.
Because you can never control the external things.
Only your internal choices.
Someone in her 50's once told me that her dream was to have children. But she didn't find a good partner and her career was taking off and she focused on earning more and doing well so that she could look after a child. And she waited for the right partner and the right time.
They never came and she doesn't have children.
She realises now, that in her 30s, she didn't ever honour her dream and make choices to allow for it to happen for her.
It's a painful story.
Many of us can relate to it in some way.
It's a heads-up though.
Your dreams are up to you...
Are you allowing yourself to want what you want?
Are you making choices that are steps towards your dreams?
If you loved yourself, what would dream would you acknowledge now?
