In this past week, four different clients have said the same thing to me.
Four!
The same thing.
That's unusual.
And what's more, is that it made me sad each time I heard it.
They said things like this:
“It’s just easier for me to not stick to the diet”
“I know I’m hard on myself, but it’s easier than trying to remember this new way of being nice to myself”
“Confronting my family and telling them what I need from them is really scary. I think it’s just easier to carry on the way it is”
Do you see what I mean?
Basically, people keep telling me it’s easier to ignore and harm themselves than to try to love themselves.
Even though I understand why they're saying it, I want to cry when I hear it.
It's so sad.
And it's not the first time I've ever heard this either.
This thing of ‘easier’ is a real trap for us.
We tell ourselves that doing what’s not self-loving is easier...
Because it requires effort to try the new ways.
But is it REALLY easier?
Or is it just familiar?
That’s what I keep asking people.
Is it easier, or is it just familiar?
Let's be real.
It’s NOT easier to eat stuff that makes you feel anguished later.
It’s NOT easier to say mean hurtful things to yourself that leave you without any confidence or willpower to try for your goals.
It’s NOT easier to let your family or your partner treat you with disrespect, or without consideration.
It’s a horrible, hard way to live life.
Don’t tell yourself it’s easier.
It might be familiar to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually easier for you.
It’s much harder to live life unhappily than to live knowing you are listening to your precious self and taking your needs seriously.
Does it take effort and intention and courage to try to do it more self-lovingly?
Yes. It does.
But once that becomes more familiar, then your life will REALLY be easier.
And it will feel good to you.
So stop telling yourself the old harmful ways are easier.
They’re not.
You deserve more.
If you loved yourself, what familiar habit would you acknowledge is actually making life harder for you now?
And if you loved yourself, what kind, reassuring and affirming thing would you say to yourself about changing that habit now?
