The other day something made me think about how I was in my early twenties and thirties.
It was a bit shocking, to tell you the truth.
I mean, I remember those years, of course, but I haven’t really thought much about how it felt to be me at that time.
Or maybe, I haven’t really let myself feel into it so honestly for a long while.
It’s painful to remember.
I was SO lost and unhappy back then.
When I think back to how, as a result of my earlier life, I didn't let anyone really get close to me, how I would react with anger so quickly, how defensive and guarded I was…
It’s hard for me to see myself as the same person.
Was that really me?
And it feels like she’s looking at me across the decades too and asking herself, “Is that really future me?”
We can hardly believe each other.
Things have changed so much for me inside myself.
My heart is open, I love intimacy in relationships, I'm open to people, I don’t feel lost or defensive…
It’s not perfect, but it's so much easier than it used to be.
Remembering who I used to be, brought me great reassurance and hope…
Because I used to be trapped in those old patterns.
I remember how I couldn’t feel, or see, or think clearly about what I wanted or needed.
I was just surviving.
Reacting.
But I don’t live that way anymore at all because...
I’ve learned how to let myself feel my feelings.
I’ve understood how to be honest with myself about my fears and I’ve increasingly proved to myself that I’ve got my back.
Over the years I’ve progressively listened to my inner guidance and found the courage more and more to dare to listen to it above the other voices…
So I trust myself more and more.
And my life is so nice now.
I have more times of peace and joy inside me than ever before.
Seeing where I have come from, and the journey I’ve been on to get to where I am, proves to me that this inner work is real.
Letting myself feel my feelings and listening to my inner guidance is a legitimate, successful way to do life.
I’m not pretending to myself that it has an impact.
It’s not make-believe.
It gets real results.
My past self is looking at me like I’m someone who won the lottery.
I think she’s right.
I did.
I found myself.
I know how to listen to myself.
I am home.
It’s not perfect but, my goodness, it’s where I want to be.
I was on my path all along, even when it didn't feel like it.
My friend, you are on your path.
Don't doubt it.
You have the wisdom inside you. Listen to it.
It's going to be ok.
Your future you is smiling at you and waving.
If you loved yourself, what loving, reassuring thing would you say to your younger self now?
