The other day, on a quiet mountain pass, I drove past a man walking along carrying what seemed to be his life’s belongings.
He had a small mattress and a couple of bags and from the practiced way he was carrying them it was clear he’d been living outdoors for a long while.
He looked toughened but there was something about the practical, unhurried, just getting-on-with-carrying-my-life’s-belongings way he was moving that really struck me.
Now, I don’t want to romanticise homelessness in any way. I can only imagine the hardships this man faces daily but I suddenly wondered if there are also some moments, when he’s found a good spot to settle for the night, and he’s managed to source enough food, that he feels peaceful because he has what he needs in that moment.
And I thought, "He might be an enlightened master walking there carrying all he owns and not needing more".
And if he is, his work with me was done because in a flash I suddenly saw myself and my life and it looked so strange.
In my car, going into the mountains to take some time out from being so busy with my daily tasks; work, looking after children, driving and ferrying to and fro, always buying more ‘stuff’, working hard, thinking I must do more, get things ‘right’, have more money, be more successful…
When actually all I maybe need is a mattress and a couple of bags, some food and a quiet mountain to settle on for the night.
I was struck by the irony that I’m driving to the mountains to seek what he already maybe has.
What’s all the rush about in my life? What’s all the pressure? What’s all the need?
I mentioned my thoughts to my partner as we drove. “I have a sickness.” I said, "I think it's called Capitalism-itis." He smiled at me wryly.
It is a sickness, this capitalist approach to life. More, more, more because we are not enough as we are.
It’s a warped version of something very healthy.
As a species we are designed to be hungry to grow and learn which means we will always seek more. It’s a healthy thing to seek more when it’s led by curiosity and yearning to know and experience things.
It’s unhealthy when it’s driven by a terrible fear of not being enough as we are. That something about us needs to be fixed or improved.
As I head into this new year, I want to remember the teachings of the guru I drove past on a quiet mountain pass carrying what seemed to be his life’s belongings.
In the midst of my privileged, middle-class suburban life, I want to slow down and take pleasure in the many moments where my needs are met by simple things.
I want to strive to learn and grow for the sheer pleasure of it, not because I must in order to prove I have worth.
I want to give myself permission to simply exist as me and just get on with carrying my life’s daily belongings which include my fears and challenges, my joys and my loves.
I want to walk on my mountain pass, carrying my belongings and let myself be guided by my answers to the question,
If I loved myself, what would I chose to do now?
What do you think? I love hearing your thoughts in response to my thoughts. Click reply and let me know.
