It might not seem so now, but I used to be a very guarded person.
I was really private.
Only a couple of people ever knew what was really going on inside me.
And even then, I didn’t always show them the whole picture - even if I needed help.
If anyone ever offered me help, I'd immediately say,
"No, no thanks. I’m fine. I can do it on my own." and then continue to grunt and sweat through whatever impossible task I had undertaken.
Have you ever done that?
Refuse help when it's offered?
It's a vulnerable thing to allow someone to help, right?
When I started writing my blog about loving yourself through parenting ten years ago, I was suddenly faced with having to share more of myself publicly.
It was terrifying.
I remember crying from fear once because I’d posted something that felt exposing and my wise mother said,
‘I think you should use this feeling as your gage for good writing.
If what you wrote doesn’t make you anxious to share, it’s probably not genuine.’
Well boy, would she be proud of how anxious I’ve been over the years!
I’m proud - and amazed - at how far I’ve come.
Because look at me now, openly asking all of you for help with this book.
And look at me now, enjoying your responses and welcoming your amazing help!
Seriously, your feedback has been so great.
Someone said to me, "Gosh that's brave. Opening up to all that feedback like this."
And yes, it has taken courage.
But I've realised something amazing and wonderful.
When we are guarded and closed off to the world and to others, we think it feels safer.
But it's not.
It's lonely and hard and scary.
I've tried closing off and I've tried opening up to help, and I can tell you that I feel MUCH safer having all of you alongside me as I prepare my book than if I’d kept it all quiet and only revealed it when it was ready and ‘perfect’.
This is what I’ve learned:
When I love myself, I let people help me.
When I love myself, I don’t deprive myself of receiving the gifts others offer.
Is there somewhere in your life that you are not letting yourself receive?
Somewhere you're trying to ‘protect’ yourself - at your own cost?
If you loved yourself, where would you bravely allow yourself to receive more?
Thank you to all of you who have sent me feedback and comments.
It’s been so helpful and thought-provoking.
The book will be much better because of your input.
I can't wait to share it with you when it's ready.
