This morning I felt really stressed and couldn’t work out why. So I took a few minutes to sit with my journal and asked myself,
“What is the kindest thing I could say to myself right now?”
I imagined I was going to write a whole page of kind reassurances, in the hopes it would calm me and help me feel better.
But a surprising thing happened.
I wrote one sentence and then just stopped.
My whole body suddenly relaxed.
I spontaneously inhaled and felt at peace.
What was this magical sentence?
This is what emerged from my pen.
“We are all doing our best.”
That’s it.
After this nothing else came out.
I just sat there holding my pen and looking at my journal.
It was like there was nothing left to figure out or resolve.
I tried to continue but all that came out was, “I am doing my best too.” And then that was really it. Complete silence in my head and heart.
It was such a profound experience that I had to write to you about it.
If we’re all doing our best, things just are what they are.
And it’s ok.
All of it, the good and the bad.
I mean, there’s nothing more any of us can do than our best.
Although, it's important to note, that just because someone is doing their best, doesn’t mean their efforts are any good, right?
I mean you can practice piano all you like, and make your best effort, but it still doesn’t mean you’ll be very good at piano.
And your parents were most likely doing their very best for you but maybe your childhood still sucked.
So doing your best doesn’t mean getting it right.
It doesn't mean success.
It doesn’t mean excellence.
It doesn’t mean everything is ok.
It means, you are trying.
They are trying.
We are all doing our best.
Even in our most shameful, pathetic moments, that is the best we’ve got right then.
If we could do better, we would.
It’s as simple as that.
So if we’re doing badly, or not as well as we wish, it’s because in that moment we can’t do better.
If we could, we would.
If they could, they would.
Maybe try telling yourself this in the tough moments:
“Well done for trying. Keep going.”
“Thank you for doing your best and for showing up.”
“It’s ok. We are all doing our best. Even if it's not enough right now, it’s still something”
If you loved yourself, how would you appreciate your own or someone else's best effort now?
