Raymond’s speaks in an anguished voice,
“I stood in front of the cheese counter and there was the organic cheese.
I wanted to buy it because I assume it’s kinder to the environment, and has fewer chemicals and hormones in it. But it’s double the price.
Then there was cheese that seemed perfectly fine at half the price.
I didn’t know what to choose.
I stood there for ages feeling more and more stressed and in the end I didn’t choose anything!
I ended up walking away from the cheese counter angry that I’m so pathetic I can’t even make up my own mind.
The day went from bad to worse after that because of how nasty I was to myself about that.”
After we discuss the situation and his response a little more I try an exercise.
“Close your eyes and picture yourself standing there in front of the counter having to make that decision,” I tell him.
“Now ground yourself. Put both feet firmly on the ground at hip distance and stand tall."
He did.
Now say, ‘I am Raymond. I am standing here choosing cheese. If I loved myself, what choice would I make?’”
Instantly, almost without any thought, he says,
“I’d buy the organic one. Just not so often. I don’t actually want to eat cheese too often anyway, so when I do, at least I’ll know it’s the better one.”
He speaks with complete clarity and certainty, and none of the usual self-doubt or self-questioning.
Then he opens his eyes and immediately starts to doubt himself.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to spend that kind of money unnecessarily.”
I stop him.
“Just pause for a moment and don’t think about whether it’s right or wrong.
How did that feel?
When you got your answer, what did it feel like inside you?” I want to know.
“Good. Certain. Strong,” he replies.
“Can you imagine living all of life feeling that way?” I ask.
His eyes widen and brighten with pleasure at the thought, then cloud over with self-doubt.
Now, Raymond is many months after that session and he is learning that the best answers for him lie within.
He’s practising trusting the good feeling of clarity.
Now he understands that when he feels doubtful and foggy, he’s blocking his self-love and his own Truth with judgement.
His eyes sparkle more nowadays as he tells me about experiences he’s never allowed himself before.
He says he feels more loved and respected by both himself and others now that he doesn’t judge and doubt himself so much.
He's on his own side and that’s changed everything.
If you loved yourself, where would you stop judging yourself now?
