We often find ourselves in life situations that mimic dynamics from our childhood.
Usually we don't realise that, or even think about it much.
We just know we are TRIGGERED!
Work is a great example of this dynamic (but take this idea and apply it to wherever you are triggered in your life right now).
Here's the thing;
At work many of us interact daily with people who each have a unique role.
If you think about that, you'll see that our first experience of that kind of set-up is in a family or at school—so it’s where we learned how to behave in that kind of setting.
It's not surprising that our emotional and psychological patterns from childhood can be triggered.
Our brain recognises the pattern and behaves accordingly.
It sends us cues that maks us regress to our childhood reactions and beliefs.
And while this is REALLY inconvenient and often unpleasant, in fact, this replay is an opportunity to heal from and master developmental challenges we didn’t manage to complete in our younger life.
Basically, we get a do-over.
Think about it, bosses typically symbolise parent figures, or teachers and colleagues are like our siblings, cousins and school friends.
And we once more act out our inner dramas and wounding in this imaginary family or school.
But the difference is that this time we hope to find a love-based resolution and meet the needs that were not met back then.
That's why we repeat things.
To figure them out.
It's how we resolve trauma.
The way our systems are designed to seek healing is marvelous, but if we aren’t aware of this process and don’t actively use it to heal and grow, it can feel like we’re just returning again and again to the same bad situations.
And that can be discouraging.
So here is the key to your hope and growth in tough recurring situations:
Healing occurs when we manage to truly love ourselves in contexts and situations that were pivotal in our learning to not love ourselves.
Do you understand?
Whatever happened in your past, that the current situation is reminding you of, taught you that you are not lovable in some way.
And some beautiful part of you does NOT believe that and is trying to fix the misguided belief.
So you repeat your trauma and these huge trigger reactions are alerting you to your unhappiness because you are trying to learn how to love yourself better in that kind of situation.
You are trying to disprove that you are unlovable.
Isn't that wonderful?
Aren't you just fabulous?
(The answer here, in case you need help with this, is "YES".)
It doesn't matter how long it takes, or how many times you repeat the same stupid, painful dance.
It only matters that part of you keeps trying again because it doesn't believe you are unlovable.
It wants you to love yourself right in that yucky mess.
Start working with it by telling yourself, "Thank you. I love you and believe in you."
If you loved yourself, what situation would you start loving yourself more in now?
