I've been banging on about not avoiding your unpleasant feelings for the past two weeks so I figure I should help you know what you can do instead...
Next time you notice yourself having uncomfortable feelings—anger, anxiety, fear, distress, stress, boredom, frustration, restlessness, uncertainty …
Just stop.
Stop whatever you’re doing, wherever you are.
Stop mid-sentence or mid-step and say, “Oh, I’m having feelings.”
Remember, unhappy feelings are just messengers letting you know some need of yours is not being met.
To receive their message, first tune in to the sensations in your body.
• Where do you feel the sensations most strongly?
• Do you feel movement (contracting, tightness, expanding, stirring)?
• Do you feel temperature (heat, cold, neutral)?
• Does it feel soft, open, hard, protecting?
• Does it have a shape (spiky, square, spiral)?
• Do you sense a colour with the feeling?
This helps you become present to the feeling in your body.
Very importantly, just notice the sensations.
Do not analyze what they might be or why they came up.
Just say, “Oh, this is how I feel. How interesting. Let me observe what’s happening inside me.”
As you remain open to the sensations, you might find that tears of sadness or emotional pain bubbles up.
That’s good!
That’s the emotion beneath the physical sensations.
Realizations or memories may also come up.
These are the messages the feeling is bringing to you.
Sometimes they’re obvious and sometimes you’re not sure what they mean, but allow yourself to receive the information regardless.
As best you can, stay still and breathe and allow these emotions to come up.
This is the real You.
This is your Truth guiding you to optimal thriving.
Do your best to stay in the moment, observing instead of trying to explain or justify the feelings.
As much as you can, say kind, accepting, and loving things to yourself, as if you’re a child you love:
“I’m OK. It’s safe to stay and feel this. Just breathe. Keep opening into it. You’re doing great. I’m so proud of you.”
Stay with it as long as it lasts—and don’t worry, it doesn’t last long.
Feelings that are allowed to be felt tend to flower and fade quite quickly—even really uncomfortable ones.
Once they’ve run their course, they leave you with a sense of clarity and peace.
Feelings that are avoided can last a lifetime.
They'll lovingly hang around until they manage to deliver their message.
If you loved yourself, what feeling would you let yourself feel now?
