Try this exercise to know where you’re at with self-love:

Think about someone you love.

It can be your partner, your pet, your child, your teacher, your friend, nature ...

As you hold them in your mind, pause and notice how it feels to love them.

What happens in your body as you let your mind meander over the idea of this person or being?

Does your chest soften slightly?

Do you feel somehow more open and more positive?

Do you have nice thoughts and feelings?

I hope so, because that’s part of the fun of letting yourself love.

Now let’s do that again but this time, think about you.

Bring yourself to your mind and let your mind meander on the idea of the person that is you.

Pause now and do this for a few moments.

What happens in your body when you think about yourself?

Does your heart open and do your feelings lift with delight as they did when you thought of someone you love?

Or did you get a closed, sinking feeling and begin to think thoughts of difficulty and disappointment?

Something like: Sigh ... there’s so much I have to fix, so much that isn’t right ...

Did you want to look away, distract yourself, think of something less challenging and upsetting?

Compare the feelings and thoughts you had when pondering someone you love and when thinking of yourself.

• If you felt equally joyous and loving for both, I’m truly delighted for you. Keep doing what you're doing.
  

• If you struggled with both, you might have a challenge in opening up to feeling love in general. Start practicing to let yourself feel more love with things that are less scary - like a pet or nature. Opening to love is deeply healing, regardless of the object of your love.
  

• If you felt open-hearted love when you thought about someone else and sinking disheartenment when you thought about yourself, that’s a happy indicator that you’re able to love, but a red warning light that you’re not loving toward yourself. Seeing this red light today is fantastic news, because in reading this weekly letter and maybe my books, and practicing with using the Love Question, you’re already doing something that can significantly improve how you feel about yourself.

When you are able to open your heart to yourself more, flaws and all, your relationships improve, your confidence increases, your job gets better, you often find that you earn more money...

Are you willing to practice loving yourself more?

If you loved yourself, what would you say to yourself about what you saw in this exercise now?