A better headline would have been: Why Homeschool Moms are the Best People to be in Charge of their Children’s Learning – but that would have been way too long.
To be politically correct, the word “moms” should be “parents” as some dads take charge of the homeschooling too and even where they don’t, moms often make major decisions in consultation with the dads, but in general, its moms that oversee most of the homeschooling, so I am sticking with “moms” for this article. So now that I’ve explained all that, ponder this for a moment.
No one expects you to be a doctor in order to be a parent. No one asks you if you are a doctor when you make decisions about your child’s health and well-being. Parents simply take up their role and make important choices for their children's health.
A mom doesn’t have to be a doctor to know when there is something wrong with her child’s health. She quickly sees when a child is not feeling well and she responds as she sees fit. Depending on how much she knows, how confident she feels to manage the situation and how well-informed she is about her options, she might treat the child in any one of the following ways:
- Do nothing, but let the child rest in bed and stay well-hydrated and well-nourished
- She might administer some medication or natural supplements from her home dispensary
- She might go to the pharmacy or health shop or homeopath to get something to boost her child’s immune system
- She might take the child to see a doctor or natural health physician in order to have the condition professionally assessed and treated
- She might rush the child to casualties at the hospital if the condition looks extremely serious
No one doubts her decisions to help her child stay healthy or get healthy.
Similarly, a mother does not have to be a professional teacher in order for her to oversee and take responsibility for her child’s education.
As with health, it is helpful if a mother is informed about how children learn best and about various options that are open to her. The more informed she is, probably the better her choices may be.
Children learn without being taught, so a mother doesn’t need to be a teacher.
Here is why she is often better than a teacher:
1. The mother knows the child’s intimate history, health and development from birth. She knows if he was a premature baby, a Caesar baby or a baby that had a difficult birth. She knows about any health issues that the child may have suffered from or be living with. She knows about the history of the child’s developmental milestones, whether he took long to sit and crawl and walk or whether she was running by 9 months! She knows whether the child suffered ear infections and took longer to learn to talk than average. Given this information, she knows whether or not a child is ready for formal learning or not and she understands if the pace of a child is not ‘average’. She knows if he needs to hang upside down or move in order to learn!
2. A mother has a love relationship with each of her children. She cares deeply about their emotional health as well as their academic development. She has an intimate relationship with each child and knows the unique details of each child’s personality – the one who is quiet and diligent, the one who is easily distracted, the one who loves making things or taking things apart, the one who is arty and creative and dreamy, the one who jokes and makes a noise. She accepts her children and can tailor their learning experiences to suit each one.
She can evaluate their progress based on her knowledge of their abilities, she can assess their work on the basis of her knowledge of both their characters and their intelligence and she can challenge them appropriately without boring or frustrating them.
3. A mother has her children’s long term best interests at heart. This means that if a child is struggling, she is highly motivated to find a solution for that child. She can’t just pass on the problem to the next teacher who will take over the next year. She wants her child to learn to the best of her ability and so she will research alternative options, get advice and tips and find a way to help her child succeed.
4. A mother is instinctively protective over her children. At birth, oxytocin is released in the maternal brain that triggers the powerful protective mother instinct in all mammals, including humans. A mother gets mad if someone threatens to harm her child, emotionally, physically, psychologically or in any other way. A homeschooling mother can protect her child from harm by choosing who and what the child is exposed to and when. She can help her child to handle negative experiences, such as fights with siblings or friends and equip the child to recognise situations that are potentially harmful. Sadly, more and more parents are reporting that teachers and schools are ineffective at handling bullying and sometimes the teachers themselves are the bullies!
5. A mother has a motherly instinct to know what is best for her child. Even courts recognise the principle that mother-knows-best, based on her intimate history and relationship with each of her children. They recognise that it is this unconscious knowledge that often guides a mother to ‘just know’ what is best for her child in a given situation. In a court of law, especially with regards to homeschooling, anyone challenging a mother’s decision has the burden of proving that her choice is NOT in the child’s best interests.
6. A homeschooling mother is a brave, strong woman. Taking the decision to follow an educational choice that is counter-culture shows that the mother (and father) is an independent thinker. She questions what everybody else does and is willing to be different if it is in the best interests of her family. She has strength of character to stand up to the questions and skepticism of those who choose different options for their children. She has the ability to endure and persevere through the ups and downs of the challenging days of parenting her children to maturity, without ever delegating part of that role to a school system.
7. Homeschooling mothers put family first. By their actions and example, they show their children that growing a healthy family is a priority. Many homeschooling dads rearrange their careers or work from home, so that their lifestyles can be more family-friendly, as they recognise the vital role they play in their children’s development.
“While families are being fragmented by modern culture, home educators are brave agents of social change – they are redefining education and re-establishing the boundaries of work, school and family life.”
~ Homeschooling the Primary Years
In spite of all 7 of the above points, because home education is new to us, most homeschooling moms spend a couple of years initially, doubting themselves and doubting their choices.
Teachers are trained to deliver a curriculum en-masse to a classroom full of children.
They are not trained to nurture each child to wholeness and maturity.
Only you can train up each individual child in the way he should go.
Mom, TRUST YOURSELF. You are the EXPERT on your own children.
