In this technological age, where you can look into other the lives of other homeschool parents via Facebook, websites and the blogosphere, you could very easily be thinking that those parents have it all together. They have lovely recipes, crafts, happy family photos and all the homeschool activity and outings for you to see. You could begin to assume that mom has found the magic pill to make her a long-suffering, never impatient, craft-doing, outing-going Super homeschool mom.
Comparing yourself with her, on a good day can be tough, but what about on a bad day? The day that the toddler ate the crayons, the kids moaned loudly about maths and the teen couldn’t get out of bed by 9…comparing yourself on this day could be fatal for your confidence and your ability to honestly assess whether you are the homeschool mom you want to be.
However, knowing that these websites and blogs are all window dressing and that behind those windows lie real women with real children and not one of them is perfect. Each will have a day or two or three where there are sullen children, snappy moms and difficult husbands. They are there to inspire you with ideas, not make you feel like they are setting a standard you can never achieve.
The next thing to consider is that we all choose to homeschool our children for their benefit, ultimately. We believe that we can offer a tailor-made education for each child that surpasses a one-size-fits-all education that schools offer. Revisiting why you started homeschooling is the first step to get an accurate assessment of where you are on your personal growth timeline.
- Are you still offering your child this type of education or not?
- Have you been sucked into offering less of it due to your hours on the Internet or social media?
- Have you begun to rush through discipline studies to get to outings or sports? Are you comparing apples with apples and pears with pears when you get to homeschool support groups?
In your assessment of the type of education you are offering your children at home, be sure you stay flexible. There are some moms and children that are very happy with a standardised homeschool curriculum package and for others it feels like a straight jacket.
On the other hand, there are many families who operate best with an informal fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type of set up – and then a whole spectrum in between. Just because one mom is doing it one way, doesn’t mean you should too. Just make sure that you are still seeking your children’s best interests, not getting side tracked for hours in things that should stay as recreation. Also be true to yourself and the goals you and your husband set for the family.
Lastly, many families choose to homeschool as they believe that life needs to be a huge part of their children’s education so that they will fit into the world in their niche as a leader, not a follower of the masses.
- Have you given up on your dream of equipping your children for life by drowning them in textbooks?
- Have you allowed screens (Smartphones, iPads, computers, gaming) to take a place of good wholesome real life interaction with real people, serving them…learning from them…interacting with them?
Attached to the above reflection is one of our more personal reasons to homeschool our children, which was to raise them in our Christian faith. This is an ongoing, all day process of sharing our beliefs, morals and faith outside of a 20 minute Bible study in the morning. Perhaps those who also want to successfully pass on their faith to their children feel like they are failing in this area. Sometimes you may feel that the lesson you are trying to teach your children gets lost in the “mommy meltdown” moments - and for this you feel bad.
Both Shirley and Wendy can say that HOMEschooling is one of most defining things we have ever done as women. It has showed all our flaws, made us stretch and grow in ways we couldn’t have imagined before. In our combined 25 years of homeschooling our children we know that we are still the "best medicine" for our children, warts and all, because we love them more deeply than any other mother or teacher would.
How do we measure ourselves? Are we growing, moving forward?
Are we getting over preconceived ideas about what makes a “good” homeschool mom - for the benefit of our children?
This is the question we should all ask every now and again.
